6-3-12 Sermon "Hidden Wounds"

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HEALING YOUR HIDDEN WOUNDS

            Living God's Way -- Part 8

            I Peter 4:1-11  06-03-12 Sermon           

1 Peter 4:1-11  New International Version (NIV)  Living for God

4 Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because whoever suffers in the body is done with sin. ² As a result, they do not live the rest of their earthly lives for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. ³ For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. ⁴ They are surprised that you do not join them in their reckless, wild living, and they heap abuse on you. ⁵ But they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead. ⁶ For this is the reason the gospel was preached even to those who are now dead, so that they might be judged according to human standards in regard to the body, but live according to God in regard to the spirit.

⁷ The end of all things is near. Therefore be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray. ⁸ Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. ⁹ Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. ¹⁰ Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. ¹¹ If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power forever and ever. Amen.

           

Have you ever had a broken bone?  Have you ever had stitches?  Have you ever had more than 30 stitches?  Have you ever had surgery?  Have any of you ever had a knife wound?  In the kitchen or the alley?  Have you ever gotten a gunshot wound?  Has anyone been wounded in a war? 

We are going to look at "Healing your Hidden Wounds".  Not the external ones that everyone can see when you've got the cast or the stitches or the band aid, but the internal hidden wounds.  What are the hidden wounds of life? 

Peter talks to us about this in I Peter 4  when he says when you undergo suffering here's how you find healing.  Hidden wounds are hurtful memories, recollections that you keep secret but cause you pain.  The hidden wounds of rejection.  The hidden wounds of abandonment, of unfaithfulness.  The hidden wounds of feeling like you didn't matter, that somebody ridiculed you, that you were insecure.  The hidden wounds of one who refuses to forgive you for something in your past.  Those are the hidden wounds that you don't see on the outside of people's lives.  They have a beautiful face and a life that seems well put together but inside they're hurting.  

Where do we get the hidden wounds of life?  From everywhere.  You get them in society.  Some of you have been wounded in society through prejudice or through injustice.  You can be wounded by your family and those are probably the wounds that hurt the most.  You can be wounded at school by other children.  You can be wounded by a friend who betrayed you.  You can be wounded in your workplace.  You can even be wounded in the church.

Probably everyone has a hidden wound.  It may be different for each person but probably everyone has a hidden wound.  Today Peter tells us in this passage four keys to healing those hidden wounds regardless of how you've been hurt. 

FOUR STEPS TO HAVE YOUR HIDDEN WOUNDS HEALED:  First,  Forgive the offender

                 

I Peter 4:1 "Since Christ suffered while He was in His body, strengthen yourselves with the same way of thinking that Christ had." 

Jesus understands what it means to be hurt.  It says, "He suffered".  How many wounds did Jesus have?  Seven physical wounds -- nail prints in his hands and feet, stripes on his back, spear pierced his side, crown of thorns on his head.  But He also had hidden wounds.  Those hurt even more.  The wounds of betrayal, rejection, hatred.  It takes longer to get over an emotional hurt than it does a physical one.  When you hurt Jesus understands your hurt.  He says "I've been there.  I can relate.  I can sympathize".  He knows what it's like to be maligned, to be mistreated, to be rejected. 

Peter says when you go through a hurt you need to have the same attitude that Jesus had, have the same way of thinking about it.  What was his thinking?  The next verse on your outline, Jesus on the cross said, "Forgive them for they do not know what they're doing."  He could have blown them away.  Jesus didn't have to hang there on the cross. He could have called 10,000 angels down.  He could have stopped the whole thing.  But instead He hung on the cross and said, "Father, forgive them, they don't know what they're doing."  You must forgive the offender if you're ever going to be healed of your hurt.

You say, "I don't want to forgive those people who've hurt me.  They don't deserve it."  You're right.  Forgiveness is never deserved. 

Then why should you forgive those people who have hurt you? 

1.  Because God has already forgiven you.  You'll never have to forgive anybody more than God's already forgiven you. 

2.  Because You're going to need forgiveness in the future.  He who won't forgive burns the bridge he has to walk across to get to heaven.  A man told John Wesley "I could never forgive that man."  John Wesley said, "Then I hope you never sin."  When you pray the Lord's prayer "Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who've sinned against us" you're saying "Lord, forgive me as much as I've forgiven everybody else."

3.  You're never going to stop hurting until you learn to forgive.  It's the only way to release the hurt.  For your own sake, not for their sake, you need to forgive.  Heb. 12:15 "Watch out that no bitterness takes root among you for as it springs up it causes deep trouble, hurting many in their spiritual lives."  Resentment always hurts you more than it does the other person.  You may still be resentful over things that happened ten, 20, 30, 40 years ago and every time that thought comes up it still makes you upset.  That other person has totally forgotten it.  They're going on with life or they may even be dead by now.  Resentment doesn’t hurt the other person as much as it hurts you.  It's like taking hot coals in your hand, you get burned.  Job says "You're only hurting yourself with your anger."  Don't allow people who've hurt you in the past to continue to hurt you today, by holding a grudge against them.

STEP ONE -- FORGIVE THE OFFENDER.  Why?  You'll never stop hurting until you do.  Step two, FOCUS ON GOD

I Peter 4:2 "From now on, live the rest of your lives controlled by God's will, not by human desires." 

He says get your attention off yourself, off your hurts and get it on to God.  From now on.  For the rest of your life, regardless of what happened to you, regardless of the hurt in your past, it doesn't matter so much what happened to you, as what direction your feet are headed in right now.  From now on focus on God's will. 

This requires a mental shift.  It's a choice that you've got to make.  "Are you telling me to ignore my past?"  Of course not, you can't.  It's OK to feel sadness over things that have happened to you that have hurt you.  The Bible calls that mourning and the Bible says, "Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted."  It's OK to mourn, but there's a big difference between mourning and moaning.  Mourning says I'm sad about that incident that hurt me.  Moaning says, I'll never get over it.  That's not true.  That's a choice.  Whether you choose to get over a hurt or not. 

We get stuck in our pain and we can't get on with the present or the future.  How do I get unstuck?  You focus on the Healer not your hurt.  Focus on God Who wants to heal you.  God can bring a positive purpose out of your pain.  Somehow He can take even bad things that happen to us and bring good out of it.  That's just the way God is. 

What's the secret?  How does God turn a negative into a positive?  How do you take a minus sign and turn it into a plus sign?  You make a cross out of it.  This "t" -- a cross -- also stands for trust.  You trust God.  The way you get over hurt is you first, forgive the offender, second, you focus on God and say "God, I'm going to let you settle that score.  I've got to get on with my life.  So I'm going to trust You to balance the books.  Instead of me trying to get even, I'm going to let you balance the books."  That's called Trust.  That's what Jesus did.

I Peter 2:23 "When Jesus suffered, He did not threaten to get even.  He left His case in the hands of God who always judges fairly."  The problem is with us is that we forget that God sees everything we go through.  We forget that God knows about all those hurts that we've had.  Subconsciously we hold on to a hurt because we think somebody's got to remember how bad this was.  We think if we forget it the offender will get off scott free.  No they won't.  God remembers.

Psalm 56:8 "You God, know how troubled I am.  You have kept a record of my tears."  Do you know that God has kept a record of every tear you've ever cried?  He's even kept a record of the tears you couldn't cry because you were so pained inside, they were internal tears.  God has kept a record.  Your pain matters to Him.  He feels it and wants to help you.  You can stop rehearsing the pain because God is going to remember it for you.  Let Him settle the score.  Let Him balance the books.  Nothing has ever slipped by God's watchful eye. 

What is the result of giving my hidden wounds to God, to committing my life to Christ?

Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him so that you may overflow with the hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." 

There are three benefits of giving your hidden wounds to Christ:  Hope, Joy, Peace.  Would you rather be filled with Hope, Joy and Peace or Misery, Depression, and Resentment?  It's your choice.

A third step in healing your hidden wounds is to  FACE THE FUTURE.

Job says the same thing, Job 11:13-16 "Put your heart right, reach out to God, then face the world again, firm and courageous.  Then all your troubles will fade from your memory, like floods that are past and remembered no more."

Would you like all those painful memories to fade from your memory.  He says, Put your heart right -- forgive the offender.  Then Reach out to God -- focus on God.  Then Face the world again -- face my future, firm and courageous.  Courage isn't the absence of fear it's moving ahead in spite of your fear.  He says Move ahead.  Stop living in denial, pretending it doesn't hurt, stop trying to fake it, to mask it, to cover it up.  Get in touch with where you are and get on with your life.  Don't keep reliving the past over and over again.  Get on with your life.  Face reality.  Move forward. 

It says, "They will fade away".  How is it that when I focus on the future, my hurts from the past fade away?  Because there is a universal law that goes into operation:  When you focus on one thing it tends to cause you to forget something else.  The key to forgetting is refocusing.  If you want to get rid of those memories, to let them fade, he says focus on the future.  Don't say "I'm not going to think about that..."  because the whole time you will focusing on "that".  Think of the future. 

You say, "I don't want to focus on the future, it scares me."  Tell God about it.  David did.  Psalm 34:17 "The Lord hears good people when they cry out to Him, and He saves them from all their troubles."  If you're afraid of the future, tell it to God.  God says, cry out to Me.  Be honest about your feelings, be honest with God.  Tell God, "I hurt.  I'm depressed.  I'm afraid.  I resent that person.  I don't like what they did to me."  Go ahead and pour out your feelings to God.  Be honest to God.  Why?  So that God will know how you feel?  No.  He already knows how you feel.  For your own sake -- it's cathartic.  You just get it out.  The healing wounds must be opened up to the love of the Father. 

Most people, instead of doing this, look for a quick fix when they hurt.  Have you noticed that when people are in pain they'll do almost anything to avoid it?  Or to remedy it?  Or to mask it?  If they have this painful memory about the past that keeps coming back up, they just go get drunk, then they forget it.  Or if the stress becomes unbearable, just pop some pills.  Or if there's an aching loneliness inside that just won't go away, they go settle for some one night stand and pick up somebody at a bar.  The world only has cheap, temporary pain killers to offer.  They work for a while.  You forget your troubles for a while.  But afterwards the troubles come back. 

How do you spell "relief"?  Some people spell relief "drugs".  Some people spell relief "booze".  Some people spell relief "sex".  Some people spell relief "TV".  Some people spell relief “shopping.” You really want to know how to spell relief?  JESUS.  That's the lasting solution, not some quick fix.

There are three problems with the pain killers that the world offers.

1.    They don't last.  They keep you high for a while.  They take away the pain, whether it's a relationship or a drug or whatever, but they don't last.

2.    They can become addicting.   And over time it takes more and more to kill the pain

3.  They never solve the problem.  You can get high but when you come down you've still got your problem.  You can get drunk but after the hangover you've still got your problem, and maybe more problems.  You're aching with loneliness, you go out and pick up some date but afterwards you're still lonely. 

They don't get to the real problem in your life.  Peter says, don't mask your pain with a quick fix; that's a waste of time.  v. 3:  "In the past you wasted too much time doing what nonbelievers enjoy:  sexual sins, evil desires, drunkenness, wild and drunken parties..."  These are fun while they're going on but they're really a waste of time because they don't take away the pain.  They don't solve anything. 

You need to face your future, and focus on God, and forgive your offender.  And the fourth step toward healing inner wounds is to  FIND A SUPPORT GROUP.

You'll never fully recover by yourself.  You're not alone in this world.  God never meant for you to have to solve your hurts on your own.  When he made Adam and put him in the Garden of Eden He said, "It's not good for man to be alone even in the perfect environment."  We need each other.  God never meant for you to be a Lone Ranger.  You'll never fully be healed until you're able to share your hurts with somebody else.  Hidden wounds heal quicker when you get support from other people.

V. 8:  "Above all love each other deeply because, love covers over a multitude of sins."  Then he says, "Offer hospitality to one another..."  Hospitality means loving concern.  Care about each other.  "Love covers" -- what does that mean?  There is enormous, tremendous, powerful healing power in love.  Love is the antidote to fear.  Love is the antidote to guilt.  Love is the antidote to resentment.  When your life is filled with love it doesn't have room for these other things that eat you up on the inside.  God is love.  Fill your life with God and you're filled with love.  That is the ultimate healing power there. 

Why do I need supportive relationships?  Eccl. 4:9  "Two people are better than one...If one falls down, the other can help him up."  We need each other.  Where is the best place to get supportive relationships?  Church.  That's why God made the church.  It's to be a family of supportive relationships. 

Heb. 10:25 "You should not stay away from your church meetings, [instead] meet together and ..." put each other down?  hear a sermon that makes you feel guilty?  judge each other?  Rate the pastor or the choir?  No.  He says "Meet together and encourage each other."   That's one of the purposes of a church family; it's to be an encouragement place.  Life is tough.  We all need a boost.  Encouragement is not just me standing up here and encouraging you.  It's you encouraging the people sitting around you.  And they encouraging you.  The Bible says that we are to encourage each other.

How is this possible?  Pastors can't do all the personal encouraging, especially when your pastor is only ½ time.  God never meant for it to be that way.  He meant for all of us to encourage each other. 

1.  We do it through small groups.  You need to be in a small group, a place where people know your name and when you're not there, they miss you.  Where you can share and be shared with and where you can pray and be prayed for.  The value of a small group is you realize "I'm not in this alone.  Other people have the same problem I have.  Some of them have already gone through it and can give me some advice."  Get in a group, work on those issues together.

2.  We do it through lay ministry.  God never meant for the church to be a one man super star show where the pastor flies in in his Superman cape and does his holy blessing and then flies out.  [Although that would make for an interesting worship service, one that would be talked about for quite some time, I am sure. ] If you look in your bulletin, on the first page, under church staff you will see me listed as the pastor, but the ministers are all of you, the entire congregation.  There's no way I could meet everybody's needs.  The UM Book of Discipline affirms this.  It says that there are some in the church called to become ordained clergy, but every Christian is called to be a minister. 

Fifty-eight times in the New Testament the Bible uses the phrase "one another".  Love one another, care for one another, greet one another, pray for one another, counsel one another, help one another, support one another. . .  It is the mutual ministry of the body to itself.  That's why we need a church family.  We are to help each other.  Not just come and sit and hear a message and walk out.  God means for you to be involved. 

I saw this happen this past week.  Jay Hogeland and I were visiting Thelma Brown in the Statesman Nursing Home.  We came to visit with her and take her communion.  The first thing she said to us when we walked into her room was, “Oh, you just missed Dot Holland.  She came and visited with me and rolled me outside in my wheelchair so I could get some fresh air and sunshine.   She just brought me back in a little while ago.”  We have around 30 shut-ins scattered around from Evangelical Manor to our South all the way to Buckingham to our north.  In addition we have people go in and out of hospitals.  I as the pastor visit all our shut-ins with communion four times a year.  I don’t have the time to visit them every month.  But we have faithful lay people who have decided to adopt some of the shut-ins and visit them on a regular basis.  And the shut-ins tell Jay and I how much that is appreciated.  They also greatly appreciate getting the cards that you pick up off the communion rail on communion Sundays.  This is just one example of lay ministry in our church.  It is lay people encouraging other lay people. 

If you want healing from hidden wounds you need to forgive the offender, you need to focus on God, you need to face your future, and you need to find a support group. 

Probably everybody has a hidden wound.  What's yours?  Would you like to be healed from it?  Would you like to get over it?  Then take the first step. 

Jesus:  "Come to me if you are weary and overburdened and I will give you rest."  Jesus says, just come to Me.  You don't have to understand it all.  I'm not going to put these rules and regulations and more guilt on you.  I will give you rest -- mental, spiritual, physical, emotional rest.  The communion service is a great time to come to Jesus and unload your burdens and receive his rest and peace. 

If you are hurting don't suffer in silence.  There are many people who have already gone through what you've gone through and they've got Christ in their life, they've got into a support group, gotten help, gotten healed.  They will help you if you let them and let your need be known.

Peg sent me a story from the internet this week I want to close with:

One day a while back, a man, his heart heavy with grief, was walking in the woods. As he thought about his life this day, he knew many things were not right. He thought about those who had lied about him back when he had a job.

His thoughts turned to those who had stolen his things and cheated him.  He remembered family that had passed on. His mind turned to the illness he had that no one could cure. His very soul was filled with anger, resentment and frustration.

Standing there this day, searching for answers he could not find, knowing all else had failed him, he knelt at the base of an old oak tree to seek the one he knew would always be there. And with tears in his eyes, he prayed:

"Lord- You have done wonderful things for me in this life. You have told me to do many things for you, and I happily obeyed. Today, you have told me to forgive. I am sad, Lord, because I cannot I don't know how. It is not fair Lord. I didn't deserve these wrongs that were done against me and I shouldn't have to forgive. As perfect as your way is Lord, this one thing I cannot do, for I don't know how to forgive. My anger is so deep Lord, I fear I may not hear you, but I pray that you teach me to do this one thing I cannot do - Teach me To Forgive."

As he knelt there in the quiet shade of that old oak tree, he felt something fall onto his shoulder. He opened his eyes. Out of the corner of one eye, he saw something red on his shirt.

He could not turn to see what it was because where the oak tree had been was a large square piece of wood in the ground. He raised his head and saw two feet held to the wood with a large spike through them. He raised his head more, and tears came to his eyes as he saw Jesus hanging on a cross. He saw spikes in His hands, a gash in His side, a torn and battered body, deep thorns sunk into His head. Finally he saw the suffering and pain on His precious face. As their eyes met, the man's tears turned to sobbing, and Jesus began to speak.

"Have you ever told a lie?" He asked? The man answered - "yes, Lord."  "Have you ever been given too much change and kept it?" The man answered -" yes. Lord." And the man sobbed more and more. "Have you ever taken something from work that wasn't yours?" Jesus asked? And the man answered - "yes, Lord."  "Have you ever sworn, using my Father's name in vain? " The man, crying now, answered - "yes, Lord."

As Jesus asked many more times, "Have you ever"? The man's crying became uncontrollable, for he could only answer - "yes, Lord."

Then Jesus turned His head from one side to the other, and the man felt something fall on his other shoulder. He looked and saw that it was the blood of Jesus. When he looked back up, his eyes met those of Jesus, and there was a look of love the man had never seen or known before.

Jesus said, "I didn't deserve this either, but I forgive you."