8-25 Sermon "Making the Hard Changes in Me"

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MAKING THE HARD CHANGES IN ME

The Invisible War – Part 4

08-25-13 Sermon

This week I learned two new terms.  One of them was called “unavoidable defects.”  And the other was called the “zero defect mentality.” 

Unavoidable defects is a term that the FDA uses to refer to the amount of contamination they allow in your food.  Since some of us are having a difficult time with dieting, I thought I would provide a loving service and inform you of some of the contamination in your favorite junk food.  Then maybe you wouldn’t want to eat it as much anymore.

For instance… You like pizza?  The FDA allows thirty fly eggs per one hundred grams of pizza sauce.           You like chocolate?  In one hundred grams the government allows sixty insect parts.  You like potato chips?  The government allows up to six percent of the chips in a bag to be rotten. That’s what’s called unavoidable defects.

At the same time I read another term that I hadn’t heard of – zero defect mentality.  “The fastest way to kill motivation is what the US Army calls having a zero defect mentality.”  Zero defect mentality is an atmosphere that tolerates absolutely no mistakes.  Perfection is required down to the smallest detail.  ** And the army considers a zero defect mentality a serious leadership failure because it kills the initiative necessary for success on any battlefield.

If you apply this to your life, you try to live a zero defect life, you will always be paralyzed by indecision.  You will run from responsibility because you’re afraid of making mistakes.  You’ll have a difficult time making decisions.  You’ll have a difficult time accepting responsibility.  You will live with unrealistic pressure and unresolved guilt because everybody has defects.  Nobody’s perfect.  Nothing is perfect on this planet – except the Word of God.  It’s all broken.  Every relationship is broken.  Everybody is broken.  The weather is broken.  The economy is broken.  If you try to live with this zero defect mentality you’re going to be frustrated your entire life.

The Bible tells us this.  The Bible says “There’s not a single person in all the earth who is always good and never sins.”  There are no no-defect people; not a man upon the earth that does good and sins not.  James 3:2 says this in the Message paraphrase “None of us is perfectly qualified.  We get it wrong nearly every time we open our mouths. [Anybody want to agree with that part?]  If you could find someone whose speech was perfectly true you’d have a perfect person in perfect control of life.” 

The truth is we’re all defective.  We all have parts of our lives, parts of our personality, parts of our relationships that simply don’t work.  We’re all defective.  The Bible says it like this in Romans 3:23 “All have sinned [that means you, me, the Pope, everybody else – all have sinned.  Nobody’s perfect.] all have fallen short.”  None of us measure up to a standard of perfection.  None of us bat a thousand.  So to pretend like you’ve got it all together when everybody knows you don’t have it all together is kind of silly.  In fact, the Bible tells us it’s actually self-deception.  We have an amazing ability to lie to ourselves.

In 1 John 1:8 it says this “If we claim to be sinless [if we claim to be without sin] we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.”  

What I want to say as we begin this weekend is you will never be sinless on this planet.  But it is possible to sin less.  You’re never going to be sinless.  But it is possible to sin less and it is possible to deal with your defects.  That’s what we’re going to look at this morning.

I want us to just look at a couple of things.  Why is it so hard to change stuff in me that I really don’t like about myself?  Why is that so hard?  And then what does it take to change?

We’re going to look at the classic passage in the Bible on this; Ephesians 4, which gives us the six requirements for personal change.  What it takes to change those deeply engrained defects in your life that you don’t like, that you don’t want to carry on with you the rest of your life, that you really would like to change them.  What does it take to change those things? 

First: Why is it so hard to change the stuff in me that I don’t like? 

There are Four reasons why it’s hard to change some of the defects in our lives.  I’m talking about the hard stuff that just seems to be stubborn and resistant. 

1.  Because I’ve had them so long.

I’ve had my defects so long I’m actually pretty comfortable with them.  You didn’t get the way you are overnight.  It took a long time for you to get as messed up as you are!  It didn’t happen overnight.  It took years.  Some of the patterns that you have – your fears, your anxieties, your faults and the way you act in self-defeating ways – you developed them in childhood, maybe in resistance to a pain or as a stress coping devise.  But the truth is you’ve had these defects in your life for a long time and they may be self-defeating, but at least they’re familiar!  And you’re comfortable with them and you know what it is. 

2.  The second reason that I have a hard time dealing with my defects is because I identify with them. 

I’ve not only had them for a lifetime but I identify with them.  This is a real big problem because we often confuse our identity with our defects.  You are not your defects.  You are not your faults.  You are not your sins.  They may be something you do but they’re not your identity. 

In other words, a lot of people, rather than saying “I work too much,” will say “I’m a workaholic!”  Or instead of saying “I have a tendency to put off and procrastinate,” will say “I’m lazy.”  You create it as an identity.  You may say, I’m timid or I’m shy or I tend to say just what I want to or I’m aggressive or I’m passive or I’m fearful and you start identifying with your defects.  This is so important because when you see yourself connected to your defect you set yourself up to perpetuate it.  It’s a self- fulfilling prophecy.  You’re going to act according to your identity. 

3.  It’s hard to change because my defects have a payoff. 

There is a reward to everything you do.  People don’t do things that aren’t rewarded.  Whatever is rewarded gets repeated.  If you’re doing something that you know isn’t good for you or it’s self-destructive or it’s ruining a relationship or messing up your marriage or destroying your finances or whatever, it’s because there is some kind of payoff.  Maybe you don’t see it, but we don’t do things that aren’t rewarded. 

4.  There’s a fourth reason why it’s difficult to change these hard-engrained defects in our lives.  That is because Satan discourages me.

Once you start to work on something in your life that you want to change, Satan starts saying, “Who do you think you are?  You’re never going to change.  You haven’t been able to change in the past.  Do you think you’re going to be able to change now?  It’s hopeless.  It’s not going to work.”

When it starts working he says, “It’s not going to work very long.  And you may as well give up.”  Then sometimes Satan starts putting fears in your mind when you start trying to change some things or letting God change you.  He starts saying, “If you rock the boat something really bad may happen.  If you rock the boat in this relationship they may walk out on you.  If you rock the boat in this relationship they may not love you anymore.  If you rock the boat nobody’s going to like you.” 

These things keep us from wanting to change; or keep us from changing the engrained things that we know aren’t good for us, which are unhealthy. 

So what does it take to change those deep patterns in my life that I really don’t like about me?  It takes six things.  There are six requirements.  We are going to look at them today from Ephesians 4.  Ephesians 4:21-27 says this, “Since you have heard all about Jesus and you have learned the truth that is in him, throw off your old evil nature and your former way of life, which is rotten through and through, full of lust and deception.  [In other words, we deceive ourselves.] Instead, there must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and your attitudes.  You must put on the new nature [put off the old, put on the new] because you are a new person, created in God's likeness — righteous and holy and true.  So put away all falsehood [That means stop faking it.  Stop posing.  Stop pretending you’ve got it all together] and tell your neighbor the truth because we belong to each other.  Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a mighty foothold to the Devil.” 

In this passage it talks about the six requirements for personal change. 

1.  Change requires learning the truth. 

That’s the first requirement.  Change requires learning the truth.  You know this famous quote of Jesus.  Jesus said, “When you know the truth, the truth will set you free.”  And you’re not going to be free until you know the truth.  Paul says this very same thing in verse 21.  He says “Since you have heard all about Jesus and have learned the truth [circle that – the truth] that is in him…” 

The proof of personal change is found in the truth.  You’ve got to know and face the truth.  You’ve got to know and face the truth about yourself, about your relationships, about your past before you can change.  You’ve got to know and face the truth about God before you can change.  You’ve got to know and face the truth about your habits, your hurts, your hang-ups.  You’ve got to know and face the truth about your potential and your talents.  You’ve got to know and face the truth about others – brothers, sisters, parents, everybody – all those kinds of things.  You’ve got to know and face the truth about God’s purpose for your life. 

Nothing changes until you start at the bedrock of truth.  If you don’t know the truth about these things, you are building on a phony, fake, false foundation.  And it’s going to crumble when you hit the rogue winds of life. 

Why is it so important to learn the truth for anything I want to change in life?  I’ll tell you why. 

Because behind every self-defeating behavior in my life is a lie I’m believing. Every time you get yourself in a problem it’s because you have believed a lie.  Like, I have to do this in order to get ahead.  I have to do this in order to be liked.  I have to do this in order to be happy.  Oh really? 

I have to know and face the truth first of all if I’m going to change.  Jesus said the truth will set you free.  But first it makes you miserable.  It makes you miserable as long as you deny it.  The moment that you are honest with the truth about you and everything else in life then it starts setting you free. 

Who is the truth?  Jesus said, “I am the truth.”  Not I have it.  Not I point the way.  Not I teach it.  He said, I’m it.  I am the truth.  So you can trust his Word.  And his Word is the Bible. 

The Bible is good for four things.  The Bible tells us what it was given for.  Why God gave it to us.  2 Timothy 3 “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful [It tells us four things.  Number one…] to teach us what is true [You’ve got to build it on truth.  Number two…] and to make us realize what’s wrong in our lives. [Number three…] It straightens us out [And number four…] and teaches us to do what is right.  It is God’s way of preparing us in every way, fully equipped for every good thing God wants us to do. ”

The Bible in that passage says that it was given to us for four things.  It’s like a path.  It shows us the path to walk on.  It shows us when we get off the path.  It shows us how to get back on the path.  And it shows us how to stay on the path.  So change requires learning the truth.

The next verse tells us the second requirement for personal change. 

2.  Change requires making choices. 

It’s not enough just to want to change.  It’s not enough to just desire to change.  It’s not even enough to say, I’ve got a dream of changing.  I’ve got a dream of being something else.  Dreams are worthless unless you wake up and actually act on them.  So more than desire, more than dreaming, it takes a decision.  You’re not going to change until you choose to change. 

A lot of times we think we’re waiting on God to change us.  No.  You’re not waiting on God.  God’s waiting on you.  And it’ll happen when you get intentional. 

Some of you may be stuck right now because you haven’t learned how to let go.  That’s a choice.  That’s the second thing that God says you’ve got to do.  Verse 22 “Throw off [that means get rid of, let go] your old evil nature and your former way of life, [all those bad habits and bad patterns and defects] which is rotten through and through, full of lust and deception.  [all of that stuff you’ve been telling yourself it’s ok; but it’s not ok because it’s really messing up your life.] He says throw off that old nature. 

Part of your defects are biological, some of them are sociological and some of them are theological.  Some of them are nature.  Some of them are nurture.  Some of them come from circumstances.  Some of them come from choices.  And some of them come from your chromosomes.  It doesn’t really matter where they come from.  You need to deal with it. 

I want you to write this down: Genetics explains my inclinations but they don’t excuse my sins.  Just because I have a natural inclination towards something doesn’t mean I should do it and doesn’t mean it’s necessarily good.  I can have all kinds of self-destructive inclinations.  In fact we all have those in our lives.  Just because I have a tendency or a desire or an attraction or an affinity or a predisposition does not mean that I should act on it. Genetics explains my inclination; it does not excuse my acting out or my sins.

Here’s the good news.  We talked about it last week.  Once you become a believer you have a new power in you that is greater than those old tendencies.  That power is the Holy Spirit. 

In changing the defects in your life God has a part and you have a part.  It’s not all God and it’s not all you.  It’s kind of like growing up physically.  Growing up physically there’s some things that you can do that would help you grow like eat right, sleep right, exercise.  But there are some things that are totally out of your control.  No matter how much you eat, sleep and exercise you don’t get to choose how tall you’re going to be.  God chose that.  You didn’t choose your bone structure.  So part of your physical growth was God’s responsibility.  And part of your physical growth was your responsibility.

The same is true with your spiritual growth.  God has a part and you have a part in your spiritual growth.

Notice this next verse.  This explains it.  Philippians 2 “Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.”  

Circle the phrases “work out” and “work in.”  This is the balance.  There’s a working out and there’s a working in when you want to make changes in your life. The working out is your part and the working in is God’s part.  We are to work out what God is working in in our lives.

I want to explain this verse in detail because I don’t want you to misunderstand it.  “Continue to work out your salvation.”  Notice it doesn’t say, Continue to work for your salvation.  It says work out, not for.  Nowhere in the Bible are you told you work for your salvation.  You cannot earn your way to heaven.  You cannot buy your way into heaven.  You cannot deserve your way into heaven.  It is a gift.  And the Bible says in Ephesians 2:8-9 “For by grace [God’s gift] we are saved through faith; and even that is not of ourselves.  It is the gift of God, not of works, so nobody can brag about it.”  In other words you cannot work your way to heaven.  But once you have received that gift that you did not earn, then you are to work out your salvation.  Not work for, but work out. 

When you work out your salvation, you’re not getting your salvation.  You are developing, you’re cultivating, you’re understanding the salvation God gave you.    It means that you develop what God has already given you.

It says while you’re doing the work out, God is working in you.  You know that phrase “working in” you know what it is in Greek?  It’s the word we get the word “energy” from.  You see the advertisement of the Energizer Bunny? That’s what this word comes from.  It says God gives you the energy, he works in, he’s putting energy into your life to change the things you could never change.

Notice what he says.  “It is God who works in you [he’s giving you the energy] to will and to act.”  Circle “to will and to act.”  God gives you two kinds of energy.  The desire and the power.  To will and to act.  The answer to changing your life is not willpower.  It’s God giving you the will and the power. 

3.  That leads us to the third change.  Verse 23 tells us that change requires new thinking. 

Change in your life requires new thinking.  You aren’t what you think you are.  But what you think, you are.  The Bible says “As a man thinketh, so is he.”  The Bible says “Out of the heart are the issues of life.”  We’ve talked about this many times.  The way you think determines the way you feel; and the way you feel determines the way you act.  If you want to change the way you act, you’ve got to change the way you feel.  But if you want to change the way you feel, you’ve got to change the way you think.  You can’t focus on the feeling, or fight the feeling, or force the feeling.  But you can change the way you feel by changing the way you think, because every feeling is determined by a thought.

This is what the Bible says in verse 23 “There must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes.”  You’re not going to change until your thoughts change, until your attitudes change. You know what a change of mind is called in Scripture?  You know what the theological term is?  It is the word “repentance.”  To repent literally means to change your mind.

A lot of people think “repent” is a bad word.  Like a guy who’s got on a sandwich board that says, “Repent!  Turn or burn!  You’re going to die and fry while we all go to the sky.”  No.  That’s not repentance.

The word repent is actually a Greek word – metanoia.  Metanoia means to change your mind.  That’s what it means.  To change your mind.  It means a mental U-turn.  It means when I repented I changed my mind.  I changed my mind about me.  I changed the way I saw God.  He’s not mad at me, he’s mad about me.  I changed the way I saw life.  I changed the way I think about money.  I changed the way I think about heaven and hell.  I changed the way I think about sex.  I changed the way I think about the problems I face in life.  I changed the way I think about other people.  I changed the way I think about everything in life – my parents, my past, my present, my future.  That is what it means to repent.  A mental U-turn.

How many of you have a GPS in your car?  A bunch of you do.  Some of you, you’ve got one that speaks aloud.  Ours does.  If I’m out there and I’m making a wrong turn it will often tell me, “Make a U-turn as quickly as possible.”  The wisdom shows up in my life on how quickly I make a U-turn. 

When God says to repent he says I want you to make a U-turn as quickly as possible.  You’re headed down the wrong track.  You’ve got to change the way you’re thinking.  You’ve got to fill your mind with the truth, not the lies.

So you’ve got to change the way you think.  Philippians 2:5 says this: “Let the same mind and attitude be in you which was in Christ Jesus.” 

God wants you to learn to think like Jesus.  How do you do that?  Again, it’s a choice.  You’ve got to make a choice and say “Lord, how would Jesus think about this?”  The more you fill your mind with the Word of God the easier that’s going to be.

4.  The fourth change that is required is, change requires the Holy Spirit.

You need more power than just willpower in your life.  You need God’s power in your life.  Again, we talked about this in detail last week.  You might get that message on Romans 8.  Verse 24 says this “You must put on your new nature [and you can’t do that with willpower] because you are a new person created in God’s likeness – righteous, holy, and true.” 

What he’s talking about here is what the Bible calls the fruit of the Spirit.  These are the qualities that God puts in your life when the Holy Spirit lives through you.  The Bible says there are nine of those qualities.  They are love and joy and peace and gentleness and patience and kindness and goodness and meekness and self-control and faithfulness.  There are nine of these qualities.

How does God produce the fruit in your life?  Not by willpower.  You don’t go out and say, “I’m going to be a more patient person!”  That doesn’t work.  “I’m going to be a more joyful person!”  It doesn’t work.  “I’m going to be a more loving person.”  Willpower does not work. 

Fruit is an inside job.  The Holy Spirit has to grow it on the inside.  Fruit can only come from the inside.  It’s got to be his Spirit living through you.

How does the Holy Spirit work in your life?  The answer is gradually.  A little bit at a time.  “As the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like him.”  Circle “more and more”.  That means it’s a gradual process.  It’s step by step.  It’s not instant; it’s incremental. 

When God wants to make a mushroom he takes six hours.  When God wants to make an oak tree he takes sixty years.  The question is do you want your life to be a mushroom or an oak tree?  As your pastor who loves you, I can help you grow to be the person you want to be.  But I cannot show you how to do it overnight.  There is no such thing as instant maturity.  It takes time.  It is a small, step by step, gradual, incremental, more and more process. 

You didn’t collect your hurts, habits, and hang-ups overnight.  It took you a long time to get as messed up as you are.  It just didn’t happen overnight.  The Holy Spirit works within us to become gradually more and more like him.  You’ve got to develop new habits to change.  That’s what your character is, the sum total of your habits.  We call these habits the spiritual disciplines.  They’re the building blocks of defeating the defects in your life.

5.  This is a big one.  Change requires honest community.

In other words, you’re going to have to have some people in your life who tell you the truth and you listen to it.  You’re not going to get well on your own.  You’re going to need other people in your life.  You’re going to need support.  You’re going to need a small group.  Change requires honest community. 

There are some things in your life you’re never ever going to be able to change on your own.  Typically the things that are the most difficult in your life you don’t want anybody else to know about.  They’re the things you want to hide in the closet.  They’re the things you don’t want to tell.  They’re the things you’re the most embarrassed about.  They’re the most deep seated problems and fears in your life. 

And you know what?  You’re never getting over them until you share them with one other person.  You don’t have to tell everybody.  You don’t have to tell the whole world.  You just need to find one person who is going to love you unconditionally.  They’re not going to judge you.  They’re going to support you.  They’re going to pray for you and you’re going to pray for them.  But revealing your feeling is the beginning of healing.  You’ve got to have one person to be gut level honest with.  You don’t have to have a lot of people.  But you need to have at least one.  Some things are so big in your life you have to team tackle them to take them down.  You’ve got to have two linemen tackling that guy because one guy isn’t enough.  You’re going to need support.

Verse 25 “Put away all falsehood [that means all the faking, all the phoniness, all the pretending like you have it all together; put away all falsehood…] and tell your neighbor the truth [about you] because we belong to each other.” 

Circle “belong.”  If you’re a believer you’re also a belonger.  You belong in the family of God and every other believer belongs to you.  They’re your brother, they’re your sister.  We belong to each other.  You cannot become until you belong.  You can’t become what God wants you to be until you belong in a group that’s going to have gut-level honest community.  Put away falsehood.  Talk to your neighbor.  Tell your friend the truth because we belong to each other.

Here’s what the Bible says “You’ll never succeed in life if you try to hide your sins.  Confess them and give them up.  Then God will show mercy.”  I’m afraid to tell God my sins.  Like he doesn’t know?  He’s just waiting to show mercy.  Confess, then you will succeed.

Galatians 6:2 “By helping each other with your troubles, you truly obey the law of Christ.” 

That leads us to the last thing that has to happen

6.  Change requires overcoming temptation.

Ephesians 4:26-27 says this “Don’t let the sun go down while you’re still angry, for anger gives a mighty foothold to the devil.”  Circle the phrase “mighty foothold.” 

What does that mean?  Did you know that you can be a believer, you can be a follower of Christ and you can give the devil a foothold in your life?  What is a foothold in your life?  It’s when Satan gets a beachhead in your life.

In World War II when the Marines would go into the islands of the South Pacific, goal number one was simply to establish a beachhead.  All they wanted to do was land on the island and establish a beachhead a hundred yards deep and a couple hundred yards wide.  Once they had that, once we were on an island – the Marines, the rest of the battle was taken over by the army and they would slowly take over the entire island.  But you’ve got to establish a beachhead first. 

And the Bible says don’t let Satan do that in your life.  What creates a beachhead or stronghold in my life?  I can be a Christian and Satan can have a stronghold in my life.  What is it? 

Here it says it’s anger.  But I can tell you in many other passages what creates a stronghold in your life is any negative emotion you hold on to.  A negative emotion will give Satan a stronghold in your life.  It can be anger, so he says don’t hold on to anger.  You hold on to anger overnight, you’re allowing Satan to get a stronghold in your life.  You deal with that conflict before you go to bed.  If you have to stay up all night, you stay up all night.  Do not give a foothold to Satan in your life by holding on to a negative emotion.

But it doesn’t have to be anger.  It could be worry.  It could be fear.  When you hold on to a secret fear, that creates a foothold in your life.  When you hold on to resentment, when you hold on to bitterness or a grudge, that creates a stronghold in your life.  When you hold on to loneliness, when you hold on to guilt, when you hold on to shame, when you hold on to regret, when you hold on to anxiety, any negative emotion allows Satan to get a stronghold in your life.  In this series on temptation I’m going to talk to you about how do you defeat that.

Let me close with this question: How serious are you about really changing?  Are you willing to do what the Bible requires us to do for lasting change?

Prayer:

      Would you pray this in your heart.  Just say, Dear God, I want to learn the truth.  I don’t want to build my life on lies but I want to learn the truth.  I want to know the path to walk on.  I want to know when I’m off the path, how to get back on it and stay on it.  I want to begin spending time in your Word every day so I can learn the foundation of truth.  Lord, you’ve said that change requires making choices.  There are some things that I’ve got to let go of.  Help me to have the courage to let go of those things.  I want to ask you to help me to work out what you’re working in my life.  Give me the will and the power that I don’t have that’s greater than willpower.  I want to begin thinking in a new way.  I want to fill my mind daily so there’s a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes.  I want to have the same mind and attitude as Jesus.  I know I can’t do this on my own.  Holy Spirit, I want you to help me put on this new nature, be a new person.  As you work within me I want to become more and more like Jesus Christ.  More solid, more stable, more strong, more successful the way you intend me to be.  Help me to have the courage to be a part of an honest community.  And Lord, use this series to teach me the skills of overcoming temptation and how to not let a negative emotion become a foothold for the devil in my life.  In your name I pray.  Amen. 

8-18-13 Sermon

To listen to today's sermon, click here. We pray you are blessed and challenged by it!

SET FREE FROM ME

The Invisible War – Part 3

08-18-13 Sermon

  Seven Weapons of Self-Destruction

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Romans 8—The Cure for weapons of self-destruction

1. I must remind myself daily ______________________________________________

      “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. For the power of the life-giving SPIRIT has freed you through Christ Jesus from the power of sin that leads to death. The law of Moses could not save us, because of our sinful nature. But God put into effect a different plan to save us. He sent his own Son in a human body like ours, except that ours are sinful. God destroyed sin's control­ over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. He did this so the requirement of the law would be fully accomplished for us, who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow THE SPIRIT.”  Romans 8:1-4 (NLT)

2. I ask the Holy Spirit ____________________________________________________

      “Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the SPIRIT have their minds set on what the SPIRIT desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the SPIRIT is life and peace.”  Romans 8:5-6 (NIV)

      “The sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.”  Romans 8:7-8 (NIV)

3. I realize I have _______________________________________________________

      “But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are now controlled by the SPIRIT if you have the SPIRIT of God living in you.  Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ living in them does not belong to Christ.”   Romans 8:9 (NLT)

“So, dear brothers, you have no obligations anymore to your old sinful nature to do what it begs you to do.”  Romans 8:12 (LB)

4. I need to turn my thoughts ________________________________________________

      “Those who are led by God's Spirit are God's children. For the Spirit that God has given you does not make you slaves and cause you to be afraid; instead, the Spirit makes you God's children, and by the Spirit's power we cry out to God, ‘Father! My Father!’ God's Spirit joins himself to our spirits to declare that we are God's children!”  Romans 8:14-16 (TEV)

5. I need to focus on the __________________________________________________

      “Since we are his children, we WILL possess the blessings he keeps for his people, and also we WILL possess with Christ what God has kept for him! For if we share Christ's suffering, we will also share his glory!  I consider that what we suffer at this present time cannot be compared at all with the glory that is going to be revealed to us.”  Romans 8:17-18 (TEV)

                                               

6. I need to remind myself that _____________________________________________

      “Also, the Spirit helps us with our weakness. We do not know how to pray as we should. But the Spirit himself speaks to God for us, and even begs God for us with deep feelings that words cannot explain. God can see what is in our hearts… and the Spirit speaks to God for his people in the way God wants.”  Romans 8:26-27 (NCV)

      “AND we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who       love Him, who’ve been called according to His purpose.”  Romans 8:28 (NIV)

      “So what can we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us?  And since God did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won't God, who gave us Christ, also give us everything else?”  Romans 8:31-32 (NLT)

      “Since God did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won't God, who gave us Christ, also give us everything else?”  Rom. 8:32 (NLT)

7.  I need to trust that God ____________________________________________

      “I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love.  Death can't, and life can't. The angels can't, and the demons can't.       Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to       separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Romans 8:38-39 (NLT)

SET FREE FROM ME

The Invisible War – Part 3

08-18-13 Sermon

We’re in this series on “The Invisible War.”  What I’ve told you in the first two sessions is that the Bible teaches that you have three enemies that are trying to mess up your life.  They want to defeat your family.  They want to defeat your life. They want to steal your soul. They want to keep you from having joy and purpose and meaning here in life.  These three enemies come against you, kind of a triple team.  Tag-team wrestling or double-team takedown… things like that.

The Bible calls these three enemies you have the world, the flesh and the devil.  The world comes around you.  Satan comes against you.  And the battle with you is within you.  In this series we’re going to go in detail about each of these three enemies. Because if you don’t know who the enemy is you can never win the battle and you’re going to go through life defeated most of your life. 

We’re beginning with your biggest enemy.  Your biggest enemy is not Satan.  It’s not the world. It’s you.  You are your biggest problem.  As I said last week when you want to run away from your problems and you want to go to Tahiti, the problem is you take you with you.  All that internal stuff is inside of you.

Last week we looked at this great testimony of Romans 7 where Paul says, “I can’t figure myself out.  All my best intentions aren’t good enough.  I want to do the right thing but I don’t.  And I don’t want to do the wrong thing but I do.” 

And that is the story of you.  And it’s the story of me.  You know far more than you’re actually doing.  If you were actually able to practice all the good things you know to do, you’d be a lot more successful in life. But it’s not just knowing it. It’s getting yourself to do it.  There’s this battle because we have a natural resistance inside of us that wants to do what’s easy, what’s convenient, what’s quick.  Rather than what’s right and what’s best. 

What I want us to do this weekend is look at how to overcome the six weapons of self-destruction.  You’ve heard of the weapons of mass destruction. But I want to talk to you about what the Bible teaches about the weapons of self-destruction. There are things you do to yourself all the time that damage you, that hurt you, that cause you to self-destruct; that cause you enormous stress, enormous pain, enormous unhappiness and unneeded pressure in your life.

Then I’m going to show you from God’s Word, in Romans 8, how the Bible tells us that the Spirit of God living within you can give you the antidote to every one of these weapons.    

Before we even get into the text, I want you to write these seven things down. These are the seven weapons of self-destruction.  These are the seven things that mess up people’s lives more than anything else.  We’re going to look at the cure for these weapons of self-destruction.

1)   shame. 

2)   uncontrolled thoughts.

3)   compulsions. 

4)   fear. 

5)   hopelessness.  

6)    Bitterness

7)   insecurity. 

The classic passage on dealing with these weapons of self-destruction is Romans 7 and Romans 8. Romans 7 explains what these seven things do in your life. And Romans 8 gives us the answer.  At the end of Romans 7, Paul says this.  He’s outlined the battle going on inside himself. He says “What a miserable person I am.  [All those things I know are good and I want to do I end up not doing. And all those things I don’t want to do I end up doing. And I’m really messing up my life.  What a miserable person I am.]  I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. [Paul says I’ve watched Oprah.  I’ve read a Dr. Phil book. I’ve done all these different things. None of this stuff really works getting me into shape.]  Who will free me from this life dominated by sin?” 

Notice he doesn’t say, What will free me.  Because the answer to the problem inside you, the mess ups in your life that you’d like to change, the answer is not a pill, it’s not a program, it’s not a book, it’s not a tape, it’s not a seminar, it’s not hypnosis. The answer is a person.  It is Jesus Christ and his Spirit inside of you.  Romans 8 is the answer to Romans 7.  The Spirit of God inside of you gives you the antidote to all seven of these negative emotions.

What I want us to look at this morning is how can I be free from me?  So we’re going to look at seven mental habits that explain the great truths of Romans 8.

The first step in being set free from me is this:

1.    I must remind myself daily what Jesus did for me.

That’s the starting point. I’ve got to remind myself everyday of what Jesus did for me.  What is salvation?  What are the benefits of it?  We have a lot of people who are saved but you don’t act like it.  Let’s look at these verses:  Romans 8:1-4.  First he says, “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Jesus Christ.” 

“No condemnation” means God doesn’t judge you for all the things you’ve done wrong if you’ve trusted Christ because Jesus took all that judgment on the cross.  He doesn’t have to judge you because Jesus was judged. He doesn’t have to condemn you because Jesus took your condemnation.  He took your rap, he paid your penalty, he did your time for you.

The Bible says if I’m a believer, if I belong to Christ, there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.  Circle the phrase “belong to Christ Jesus.”  This whole passage is talking about people who’ve given their life to Jesus.  This doesn’t apply to you if you haven’t made that decision yet.  But if you’ve received Christ into your life the Bible says you’re under no condemnation.  That means there is no reason for a Christian to walk around in shame; because I stop and I remind myself Jesus paid for all of my sins.  He already knew before I was born every sin I was going to do.  And he paid for it.

The next part of that verse says, “For the power of the life giving Spirit [that’s the Holy Spirit, God’s Spirit] has freed you through Christ Jesus from the power of sin that leads to death.” 

What does that verse mean?  The second thing I need to remember is that because I’m a believer, I have Jesus and that means I have a new power in my life greater than willpower.  Before you became a Christian the only thing you had to use against your bad habits was sheer willpower.  And how long does that work?  Not very long.  He says now there’s a new power in you. 

Unfortunately a lot of Christians are still simply relying on willpower to change. They’ve never figured out how to connect into spiritual power.  Into the power of the Holy Spirit.  Into the power of Jesus inside of you. He says there’s a new power in you.  There’s a new sheriff in town!  And when you want to change things in your life it’s not just if it’s to be it’s up to me.  It’s not just my own willpower.  It is God’s power in me.  I have been given a power greater than willpower.  We’re going to look at this more in the next verses. 

The next thing it says “The law of Moses could not save us because of our sinful nature.”  Laws – keeping God’s laws cannot save you. Why?  It says:  Because of our sinful nature.  Laws simply work on outside behavior; they don’t work on inside change.  They don’t change you on the inside. 

God knew that laws couldn’t save us.  “But God put into effect a different plan to save us.  He sent his own Son in a human body like ours and God destroyed sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins.”  In other words he gave us the power to make those changes – to forgive us and to change us. 

Then it says “He did this [Jesus died on the cross] so that the requirement of the law would be fully accomplished for us.” 

Circle “for us.”  What is he saying there?  That Jesus not only paid for all your sins he did all the right things for you – those of us who no longer follow our sinful nature, but instead follow the Spirit. 

In other words, if you were to die tonight and you were to go and before God in heaven and God were to say to you, “Did you keep all my laws?”  Your answer is “No, but he did.”  And you point to Jesus.  And God says, “Friend of Jesus, come on in.”  You get a pass.  That’s called grace.  You put your trust in my Son.  You trusted what I sent him to do for you. 

The second mental habit to defeat the weapons of self-destruction is,

2.    I ask the Holy Spirit to give me better thoughts.

I ask the Holy Spirit to give me better thoughts.  And if you ask him to give you better thoughts do you think he will?  Of course he will.  Of course he’s going to give you better thoughts.  That’s a prayer he’s going to answer.  I ask the Holy Spirit to give me better thoughts.   This is the second key to permanent change in your life. 

This is what it says in the next two verses Romans 8:5-6.  “Those who live according to the sinful nature have their mind set on what that nature desires.  But those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their mind set on what the Spirit desires.”

There are two kinds of mind-sets.  Circle “mind set”.  There’s the mind-set of your old nature.  And there’s the mindset of the Holy Spirit.  There’s the mindset of the way I normally think about my life and there’s the mind-set of how the Spirit sees my life.  Which one is going to be true?  The one the Spirit sees.  So I have to choose between these mindsets.  Am I going to set my mind on the way I normally think about my life or am I going to set my mind on the way God thinks about my life.

There’s a big difference in choosing these mind-sets.  If you choose one you’re going to get one response and if you choose the other you’re going to get another.  And the next part of the verse tells us what that is.  “The mind of sinful man is death.  [That means it’s self-destructive. Thoughts that you come up with yourself are going to tend to be self-destructive.]  The mind of sinful man is death. But the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.” 

How many of you would like to have life and peace?  Me too. I would like to have life and peace.  And it’s all about the mindset you choose.  The economy may not change. It probably won’t.  Your problems probably won’t change; the ones that are persistent.  But your mind-set can change.  And that’s the difference between a life of self-destruction or a life of life and peace. 

This is the Holy Spirit’s answer to uncontrolled thoughts.  What I do is I ask the Holy Spirit to give me better thoughts.  And this is the principle of replacement. Replacement.  The principle of replacement is anytime you want to change something in your life and you’re serious about changing it you don’t resist it.  You replace it.  When you’ve got something negative in your life you don’t resist it.  You replace it.  I ask the Holy Spirit to give me better thoughts to replace the negative ones in my mind. 

You choose what you dwell on.  Satan gives you ideas.  That’s called temptation.  The Holy Spirit gives you ideas.  That’s called inspiration.  You get ideas.  But the truth is you choose what you focus on.  But now, now that you’re a believer, you have a helper.  And you can say, “Holy Spirit, I invite you to give me your ideas.” 

Don’t expect unbelievers to act like believers until they are.  They don’t have the power.  Look at the next verse:  “The sinful mind is hostile to God.  It does not submit to God’s law nor can it do so.”  It can’t even do it.  Those controlled by sinful nature cannot please God.  So why do you work on passing a law when they don’t have the ability to change?  Only God can change them. Change comes from the inside out.

The third principle, the third mental habit you’re going to need to develop to apply the truths of Romans 8 in your life. That is this: 

3.    I realize I have a new ability to say no.

I need to realize that now that I’m a believer I have a new ability to say no to the things that are self-destructive in my life.  This is very important. Because before you became a believer all you had was willpower.  And you lost to most of those bad habits.  Because willpower wears out.  It’s not enough.  But now with the Spirit in your life you have a new ability to say no, a new power.  You need to learn how to tap into that power. 

Galatians 5:16 says this, “Let the Spirit direct your lives and you will not satisfy the desires of the old human nature.”  If I let the Spirit live through me does it say I won’t have those desires?  No. It says I won’t satisfy those desires.  In other words, do I still have the same desires I had before I was a Christian?  Yes.  Do I still have the same temptations?  Yes.  Do I still have the same urges and compulsions?  Yes.  Do I fulfill them?  No.  Why?  Because I have a new power inside of me.  And it’s not just willpower anymore. 

This is the good news of Romans chapter 8.  The next verse, verse 9, “But you are not controlled by your sinful nature.  You are now controlled by the Spirit, if you have the Spirit of God living in you.  And anybody who does not have the Spirit of God living in them does not belong to Christ.” 

The Holy Spirit doesn’t come in at a later point.  He comes in and you get all of God when you give your life to Christ.  The question is does he have all of you?  For the rest of your life you’re going to be giving more and more of your life to him and the more you give the more power you have. 

He says that because I have the Holy Spirit I now have a new ability to say no.  “So, dear brothers, you have no obligation any more to your old sinful nature to do what it begs you to do.”  Before I didn’t have anything except willpower to stop myself.  Now I’ve got a new power inside of me. And I don’t have any obligation anymore to listen to my old nature. 

The fourth mental habit I want to develop if I want to change my life is,

4.    I need to turn my thoughts to God whenever I’m afraid. 

That’s the fourth antidote to these weapons of self-destruction.  This is how God’s Spirit sets me free from me from the attitude of fear.  Romans 8:14-16 “For the Spirit God gives you does not make you slaves and cause you to be afraid; instead, the Spirit makes you God’s children, and by the Spirit’s power we cry out to God, ‘Father!  my father!’  [This is actually the Aramaic word “Abba.”  Abba is not just the singing group!  It means Daddy, Papa.  It’s Dada. It’s the most basic intimate form of Father. Daddy, my daddy.  We cry out to God Daddy my daddy!  Papa, my papa!  Abba my Abba.]  God’s Spirit joins himself to our spirits to declare that we are God’s children!” 

Stop focusing on your fear.  Start focusing on your Father. That’s the antidote.  Stop focusing on your fear, start focusing on your Father.  Whenever you are afraid the first thing you need to do is remember this – whose family are you a part of?  I’m a son of God.  I’m a daughter of God.  I’m a child of God.  I’m in the family.  And families take care of each other.  And there’s family protection.

When you are afraid you remember whose family you’re in.  You’re a child of God.  You’re not a slave. You’re a child of God.  And he’s going to take care of you.  And second, you call out to your Father. 

2 Timothy1:7  “God has not given us a spirit of fear.  But a Spirit of power and love and self-control.”    

“For the Spirit that God has given us does not make us fearful or timid. Instead, his Spirit fills us with power, love and self-control.”  The more controlled you are by the Holy Spirit, the more self-control you’re going to have. 

A lot of people are afraid of the Holy Spirit.  “I don’t want to be filled with the Spirit.  Filled with the Spirit?  That’ll turn me into some nut. I’m going to be some religious fanatic.  I’m going to be like some of those people on tv and I’m going to lose control.”

Actually, it’s the exact opposite.  The more you have of the Holy Spirit, the more self-controlled you are.  It says, God has not given us the spirit of fear.  So if you are afraid, that’s not from God.  That fear is not from God.  When God’s Spirit comes into your life, you’re filled with love. I want that. You’re filled with power.  I want that.  You’re filled with self-control.  I want that.  Ok, Holy Spirit, I want all you’ve got!  Fill me.  It doesn’t make me some nut case.  It makes me more human.  It makes me more natural.  It makes me more loving.  It makes me more in self-control. Mastered by the master I can master anything. Throw it at me. I can handle it.  Why?  Because “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” 

So the Spirit in me doesn’t make me a lunatic or a religious nut. To be filled with the Spirit makes me more self-controlled.  And believe me!  You need more self-control!  The more Spirit controlled I am, the more self-controlled I am. 

The fifth thing we learn from Romans 8 is about the antidote to hopelessness.  That’s verses 17-18.  The habit I want you to learn to develop is to

5.    I need to focus on the long term, not the short term. 

Focus on the long term not the short term. There’s a very famous study done by Harvard University that found out the more long term your thinking is the more successful you’re going to be in life.  The shorter term your thinking is the more failure you’re going to be in life. People who fail in life have short-term thinking.  They’re only thinking about today.  They’re only thinking about here and now. They’re only thinking about what feels good to me right now. But the longer term you think the more successful you’ll be in life.  In fact, the longest term thinkers are those who are most successful in life.

As a Christian we can win this one hands down, because when we think in terms of long term, we call it eternity. Because we’re not just thinking about life here on this earth.  We’re not thinking forty or fifty years ahead.  We’re thinking about trillions and trillions and trillions of years ahead. And living in light of eternity is the key to being the most successful you can possibly be.  Thinking in long term.

When you think in long term you’re able to handle short-term pain a whole lot better.  You’re able to handle short-term loses, short-term failures, short-term hindrances because you’re thinking long term.

Romans 8:17-18 talks about focusing on the long term. It talks about the promises of God.  “Since we are his children, we will possess [circle the word “will”.  That’s a promise. That’s in the future.  It’s not now. It doesn’t say we do possess. We will – long term. Since we are his children we will possess] the blessings he keeps for his family, and we will also possess with Christ what God has kept for him!”

Not only that but the Bible says you’re going to be rewarded not just for how well of a steward you are but you’re going to be rewarded for what Jesus did. Did you know that?  That verse says “And also we will possess with Christ what God has kept for him.”  Did you know that the Bible says that in heaven we are going to co-reign with Christ?  We’re going to be heirs with Christ for an inheritance from the Father. We’re going to co-reign with Christ.

Notice it says, the rest of that verse, “For if we share Christ’s suffering, we will also share his glory! I consider that what we suffer at this present time cannot be compared [it’s small potatoes] with all the glory that is going to be revealed to us.”  He’s saying, Yeah! You know what?  It’s not always easy living for Christ.  It’s not always easy doing the right thing. It’s not always easy making the moral decisions.  But the benefit long term is going to far outlast the pain.  You need to focus long term not short term.

6.    The sixth habit is I need to remind myself that God is good and in control.

This is an application of what the Bible teaches in Romans 8.  This is how God sets us free from the self-destructive weapon of bitterness.  I remind myself that God is good and in control.  And you need to remind yourself of that over and over and over – every single day. 

I don’t have time to get into this but verses 19-25 of Romans 8, Paul describes how sin has damaged the world.  If I got into this, this sermon would be twice as long.  We don’t have time to get into it.  So let me just summarize.  In verses 19-25 Paul says everything in the world is broken.  Everything in the world has lost its original purpose.  Everything in the world is suffering. Everything in the world is in pain.  And everything in the world is frustrated because sin broke it all down.  Everything is frustrated.  Verse 20 “Everything created is subject to frustration, waiting to be liberated [set free from me] from its bondage to decay.  All of creation groans in pain like childbirth.  And we groan inwardly.”  This is tough! This is hard!  This is difficult!  Why is life so hard?  The environment is groaning.  I think of the earthquakes and the hurricanes and I think of all the whacky weather.  It’s the environment groaning because it’s broken.  And we groan in pain because relationships are broken.  And later you’re going to find out that the Holy Spirit groans in pain for you.  

Life is unfair!  Yeah!  What else is new?  Life is unfair because it’s broken.  But the Bible says in Romans 8 that there are four things you need to remember to get over bitterness.  Pain in your life is not optional.  But misery is.  Pain in your life is not optional.  You’re going to have pain in your life.  It’s called life.  Suffering in your life is not optional.  You’re going to have suffering.  Misery is.  Moaning is optional.  Bitterness is optional. And you overcome bitterness by remembering four magnificent truths in Romans 8.

Verse 26-27 says this: The Holy Spirit is praying for me.  You might write that down. That helps me overcome bitterness because no matter what I’m going through I know God’s on my side. He’s praying for me.  It says here, “The Spirit helps us with our weakness.  We don’t know how to pray as we should.  But the Spirit himself speaks to God for us.”  Did you know that? The Holy Spirit is praying for you.“The Spirit of God prays for us and even begs God for us with deep feelings that words cannot explain.  God sees what’s in our hearts and the Spirit speaks to God for his people in the way that God wants.”  So no matter what you’re going through.  The first thing you know is right now the Holy Spirit is praying for you.  That’s cool!

The second thing, God is using it all for good.  The next verse says this, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who’ve been called according to his purpose.”  It’s not all good but God is using it all for good.  God is greater than my problems.  God is greater than my enemies.  God is greater than my critics.  And God is using it all for good in my life. 

Number three, God wants me to succeed.  Did you know that?  Did you know that God wants you to succeed?  He doesn’t want you to fail in your life. He wants you to succeed in your life.  God is not against you.  If you’re a Christian, if you’re a believer, God is for you.  The Bible says in verse 31 “So what can we say about such wonderful things [all the stuff we’ve talked about… why do we say about all these wonderful things?]  If God is for us who can be against us?”  Remember.  I’m in the family.  My Father is God.  So God wants me to succeed.

Finally, number four, God will give me what I need.  When I’m feeling blue and I’m feeling bitter I need to remind myself that God is good.  He’s in control.  The Spirit is praying for me.  He’s using everything for good in my life.  He wants me to succeed.  And he’s going to give me what I need.  Verse 32 “Since God did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t God, who gave us Christ, give us everything else?”  If God loved you enough to let Jesus die on the cross for you don’t you think he loves you enough to help you with your debt?  Don’t you think he cares enough to help you with your health?  There is nothing in your life that God doesn’t care about.  God will give me what I need.  If God didn’t spare his Son to solve my biggest problem everything else is small potatoes.  It’s all minor to him.  There is no big problem in your life.  They’re all small problems to God. 

Finally we come to the last habit you need to develop.

7.    The seventh habit is this:  I need to trust that God will never stop loving me.

Trust that God will never, never stop loving me.  I’m in the family.  He cannot not love his family.  He will never stop loving me.  Romans 8:38-39 “I’m convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can’t, and life can’t. The angels can’t, and the demons can’t. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can’t keep God’s love away.  Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

I may lose a lot of things in life but I’ll never lose the love of God.  Once you’re in God’s hand he’s not letting go of you.  You may want to let go but he’s not letting go of you. 

My question is this:  Do you belong to Christ?  Because none of these things are true in your life unless you belong to Christ.  Do you have the Holy Spirit in your life?  You say, I don’t know.  Let’s make certain of it right now.

Prayer:

      I’m going to pray a prayer as we close and ask you to pray it.  Say this in your heart. Dear Jesus Christ thank you for all that you did for me.  Thank you that there’s no condemnation in my life for all the sin that I’ve done.  You took that condemnation.  Thank you that you did what the law couldn’t do.  Thank you that you destroyed sin’s control. My righteousness is nothing, but your righteousness is the ticket I get into heaven on.  Help me to never forget what you did for me.  Holy Spirit, I ask you to give me better thoughts.  I want to switch mindsets.  I don’t want the mindset of self-destruction.  I want the mindset of life and peace.  I didn’t want to think my old ways.  I want to think your new ways. I invite you to put thoughts in my mind all the time.  For they are the truth.  And help me to remember and realize that I have a new ability to say no.  Lord, I used to just have willpower.  But now I’ve got Spirit power.  If I ask you for help you’ll help me and give me the strength to say no.  Thank you that no temptation is too strong.  And when I am afraid help me to turn my thoughts to you.  Help me to remember that I’m your child and help me, to cry out to you Father.  Daddy!  I’m afraid.  To focus on my Father and not my fears.  Help me to focus on the long term, not the short term.  You know the pain in my life.  You know the suffering.  I want you to use it for good and I want you to use it for your glory.  And I want to look and focus long on eternity, not just the here and now.  I want to do the right thing not the easy thing.  When I start to get bitter and I feel life is unfair, and when I feel hurt, help me to remember that you, God, are good and you’re in control.  That you are praying for me.  Thank you for doing that; that you are working all things for good. Thank you for doing that; that you are for me not against me. Thank you for that.  And that you didn’t spare Jesus so you’ll give us whatever we need.  Thank you for that.  Most of all I thank you that you will never let go of me.  You’ll never stop loving me.  You’ll never reject me.  Thank you that you will never stop loving me. 

      If you’ve never invited Jesus Christ into your heart say, Jesus, I want you to be my Lord, my Savior.  I want you to be the manager of my life.  I don’t understand it all but I want to trust in you completely.  Thank you for your grace to me.  I want to love you for the rest of my life and I ask you to accept me into your family by faith.  In your name I pray.  Amen.