8-7-11 Sermon

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THE TRUTH ABOUT CHANGE

Exploding The Myths That Make Us Miserable - Part 4 of 6

08-07-11 Sermon

MYTH:  “I should be able to change overnight.”

I.            THE PROCESS GOD USES TO CHANGE US?

1.______ Phase 1:  ______

“My heart is troubled and restless.”  Job 30:27 (LB)

“like an eagle that stirs up its nest . . . .”  Deut. 32:11

            How you feel: 

2.______ Phase 2:  ______ .

“God sometimes uses sorrow in our lives to help us turn away from sin . . . .”  2 Cor 7:10 (LB)

            How you feel:

3.______ Phase 3:  ______ .

“We choose the sounds we want to listen to; we choose the taste we want in food, and we should choose to follow what is right.”

            How you feel:

4.______ Phase 4:  ______ .

“. . . be changed within by a new way of thinking . . . .”  Rom. 12:2 (NCV)

“. . . the truth will set you free.”  John 8:32 (LB)

            How you feel:

5.______ Phase 5:  ______ .

“Faith, if it is not accompanied by ACTION, is dead.”  James 2:17

            How you feel:

6.______ Phase 6:  ______ .

            How you feel:

II.            HOW TO COOPERATE WITH GOD’S PROCESS

Phase 1:  Be Alert ______

“For God does speak ‑‑ now one way, now another ‑‑ though man may not perceive it.  In a dream . . . as they slumber . . . (or) he may speak in their ears . . . with warnings . . . Or a man may be chastened on a bed of pain with constant distress . . . .”  Job 33:13‑19 (NIV)

Phase 2:  Accept ______

“God will encourage the fainthearted, those tempted to despair.”  Isa. 42:3

“You (God) have listened to my troubles and have seen the crisis in my soul.”  Ps. 31:7 (LB)

“When I had lost all hope, I turned my thoughts once more to the Lord.”  Jonah 2:7 (LB)

Phase 3:  Ask God ______

“When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you.  When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown!  When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up . . . .”  Isa. 43:2

Phase 4:  Apply ______

“The whole Bible . . . is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives; it straightens us out and helps us do what is right.”  2 Tim 3:16 (LB)

“Do not merely listen to the Word, and so deceive yourselves.  Do what it says.  James 1:22 (NIV)

Phase 5:  Anticipate______

“Commit everything you do to the Lord.  Trust him to help you do it, and he will.”  Ps. 37:5 (LB)

Phase 6:  Adhere ______

“Let us not get tired of doing what is right, for after a while we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t get discouraged and give up.”  Gal. 6:9 (LB)

“Be confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  Phil. 1:6 (NIV)

THE TRUTH ABOUT CHANGE

Exploding The Myths That Make Us Miserable - Part 4 of 6

08-07-11 Sermon

Have you noticed that here in America we expect everything instantly.  We have instant fast food, we have same day mail, we have email, twitter and satellite phones; we expect everything quickly.  We want instant success, we want instant wealth, we want instant beauty.  We sit in front of a television, we change channels just surfing-- click, click, click.  And, we think that because we can change channels that quickly, that we ought to be able to change our lives overnight.  And this is a myth that causes a lot of misery in your life.  It’s a myth that’s promoted by all kinds of advertisers, “Buy this product,” “Eat these vitamins,” “Use this exercise equipment,” “Read this book,” “It’s in this seminar,” “Listen to this tape and you’ll be changed instantly,” “Guaranteed, overnight change.”  The truth is change is difficult, change is slow, change in your life takes time, and change is a process.  Now, today I want to share with you the process that God uses to change you.  If you get this it can save you hours of counseling so you ought to pay me the fee you were going to pay the psychiatrist!  When you understand the process God uses, then you can cooperate with it.  So, today I want to explain the process to you. 

Now, if you’ll study Scripture, you’ll find that there are six phases that God took people through in the Bible and He takes you through them in your life, you just haven’t recognized it.  Look at the first one:

1.         Phase I:  Concern.  Now, what happens in this phase is you begin to be bothered by something in your life.  You recognize that something isn’t right.  You begin to get a little worried, a little anxious; something seems out of balance in your life and you don’t know what it is, or, maybe you do know what it is and you say, “I just don’t feel right.”  Maybe you feel like Job.  Job 30:27 (LB), “My heart is troubled and restless.”  And the focus of your concern can be anything.  It can be a habit that’s bad, it could be a relationship that’s frustrating, it could be an unfulfilled dream, it could be that something is just out of whack, a stress point in your life, but you just begin to be concerned about something in your life, “This just isn’t right,” “One of these days, I’m going to have to start working on that.”  

The word that best describes this phase is you feel uncomfortable.  And the fact is, that discomfort that you feel is from God.  That restlessness that you feel is from God.  The Bible says in Deut. 32:11 that God is, “like an eagle that stirs up its nest . . . .”  You know how a mother eagle, as the eaglets get older, she wants to get them out of the nest so she begins to poke through the straw and tear the nest apart, forcing the eaglets to fly.  So, if you feel a little restless, if you feel a little uncomfortable, if you feel a little troubled by something in your life, something just isn’t right, congratulations ‑‑ God is stirring up your nest and He’s getting you ready for the process of change.  You say, “I just don’t feel right,” “Things just don’t seem to be clicking” ‑‑ God is getting you ready for change.  Now, the sad part is most people don’t get past this phase.  They live their entire lives with unresolved pain; they put up with discomfort.  They know something’s out of whack but they’re too afraid to change, they’re too afraid to do anything about it so they just sit back and live with discomfort.  Why do we do that?  Because we’re afraid.  We’re afraid of change.  At least the discomfort is predictable.  At least it’s dependable; it’s a stable misery, it’s a stable discomfort.  And, if  I change, I don’t know what’s going to happen.  So, most people never get out of this phase.  Why do we hang on to our hang-ups?  Because of this very reason.  So, God has to bring in phase 2. 

2.         Phase 2:  Crisis.  We talked a little bit about this last time.  But, something happens that moves that issue off the back burner and all of a sudden the pain or discomfort gets so bad that you can’t ignore it anymore.  And that thing you’ve been concerned about in your marriage, or in your life, all of a sudden it’s so painful you just can’t ignore it anymore.  Maybe you get fired, maybe you have an accident, maybe you have an illness, maybe your spouse threatens to walk out, maybe the creditors start threatening you; the bottom falls out.  But, the issue begins to scream at you:  I’M A PROBLEM, DO SOMETHING and the crisis occurs.  Sometimes it happens when a spouse walks in and says, “Look, enough is enough.  We can’t go on like this.  I refuse to live this way anymore.  I’m not going to live this way the rest of my life.”  Sometimes a minor issue can cause a crisis, it can cause the apple cart to get tipped over.  Sometimes it’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back ‑‑ it’s not a big deal but it’s something that has been building up and the concern turns into a crisis. 

Now the word that best describes this second phase is:  You feel Intense Pain.  You want a good example of it go see Psalm 38 ‑‑ David is definitely in the crisis phase and he’s saying, “I’m miserable, life stinks.”  He says, “I’m in despair, I’m exhausted, I’m crushed.”  2 Cor 7:10 (LB), “God sometimes uses sorrow in our lives to help us turn away from sin . . . .”  Has God ever had to do that in your life?  Last week we looked at that verse that said “Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change,” and God brings a crisis in our lives.  You know it’s sad but with some people the only time, that God gets their attention is in crisis.  They’re “foxhole Christians” ‑‑ you know, when things are bad they say: “Okay God, what do you want,” and then they ignore Him any other time.  When you get the stage two crisis, along comes phase three which is:

3.         Phase 3:  Choice.  This is the turning point because you have to make up your mind.  Am I going to move ahead or am I going to retreat?  And, in the phase three of God’s process of changing you, you have to decide am I going to retreat from the problem or am I going to face the problem?  Am I going to rationalize it or am I going to deal with it?  Am I going to take responsibility or am I going to continue to blame other people?  Am I going to wake up to reality or am I just going to live in denial?  Am I going to begin the task of changing or am I going to slide back into defeat?  Now, it’s your choice.  We talked about this before that one of the greatest gifts that God has given you is the ability to choose.  Notice this verse.  Job 34:3‑4 (LB) says, “We choose the sounds we want to listen to; we choose the taste we want in food, and we should choose to follow what is right.”  This is the decision phase.  At this moment of decision, you can’t procrastinate anymore.  The problem has gotten so big in your marriage, in your life, with a friend, at work, where ever it is, the problem has gotten so big that you either have to face the pain or you’ve got to flee from it.  Now, the world will give you lots of ways to flee from it.  You can take drugs, you can get drunk, you can have an affair, you can drown yourself in television, you could sleep too much, you can fall into depression.  There are lots of ways to hide, to back out, but it’s your choice.  Face it or flee from it.  So, at this phase, you make the decision.  Say, “I’m going to change, I’m going to do something about this problem, I’m going to make an effort.”  Now, how do you feel at this phase?  Real easy, one word scared ‑‑ you feel scared because you really don’t know what’s going to happen.  When change occurs, you don’t know how it’s going to end up.  And so, when you make the decision, I’m going to change, I’m going to work on this relationship, I’m going to work on this habit, you don’t know.  “I’m so used to being this way, what if I change and I don’t like the way I change?”  And so, its scary. 

Now, let me warn you, don’t be surprised if at phase three, the pain worsens.  It’s going to get worse at this phase so don’t be surprised.  How many of you have ever gone on a diet?  The worst days of a diet are when?  The first days, right.  I mean, your stomach’s growling, you’re in pain, you’re in agony, anything for some chocolate, you know it’s terrible.  The first days of a diet are the most painful.  When you start an exercise program, when’s the most pain?  The first days of the exercise program.  I mean, you’re sore, you can’t walk after you’ve done it.  The first days of marriage counseling are always the most painful.  And so, when you make the choice to begin to work on an area of your life, I’m just warning you up front, the pain will get worse before it gets less.  It will happen because you’re facing some new things.  And this is the phase where you’re most tempted to give up and say Forget it, I’m not going to change.  I can’t change.  It’s kind of like ‑‑ those of you who are parents of young kids, you know, when you need to clean out a diaper pail and you lift it up and you go “Wow,” and you throw the lid back on real quick.  I mean, the stench is so bad you just want to say, “Let’s forget about it.  Let’s don’t deal with this.”  That’s what happens at this stage because when you start shining the light on an area of your life that has a problem, at first it’s going to look ugly, and it’s going to smell nasty, and you’re not going to want to deal with it.  That’s why you haven’t dealt with it up to this point, and you want to throw the lid back on, but you’ve got to move on to phase four. 

4.         Phase 4:  Comprehension.  Phase four is involves gaining a new understanding of your problem.  This is the phase of insight.  Rom. 12:2 (NCV), “. . . be changed within by a new way of thinking . . . .”  This is the stage of insight.  The truth here, notice it says, “be changed by a new way of thinking” ‑‑ the truth is you cannot change without changing the way you think.  You can’t do it.  You can change your behavior for a little while but it won’t last.  For lasting change, you must change the way you think.  So, at this stage you begin to change your perspective ‑‑ the way you see the problem, the way you see yourself, the way you see the other person.  You change your perspective about God and you begin to look at the situation in a whole new way; you begin to see things more clearly.  What happens is you actually begin to understand what the real problem is and you begin to understand what it’s going to take to change. 

Now, it’s very important at this stage to seek God.  John 8:32 (LB) says, “. . . the truth will set you free.”  Now, where do you get the truth?  You get it from God.  God has the truth about your problem, you don’t.  In fact, your problem is not really your problem, your problem is the way you look at it.  And, the Bible says in Jeremiah 17, “The heart is deceitful.”  That means you have an incredible capacity to lie to yourself ‑‑ you do it all of the time, I do too.  You have an incredible capacity to fool yourself into thinking that they’re the problem; that the problem is out there.  The Bible says the heart is deceitful.  And so, when you look at a problem from your perspective, you don’t see it from the true perspective.  Now, if somebody else is involved, they don’t see it from the true perspective either.  But, God does because God sees the whole picture.  So, when you’re learning to see the situation from a new way, you need to get it from God because He can see the whole thing.  He sees the truth, He sees the whole picture.  He just doesn’t see your perspective, He just doesn’t see their perspective, He sees it all.  And, you need the truth. 

So, how do you feel at stage four?  When you begin to get all of these insights you feel cautiously hopeful.  Because, once you begin to learn the truth, the truth begins to set you free.  And, you start saying, “Well, maybe I can change after all,” “Now that I understand what’s going on, maybe I can change.”  And you start to get a little hope ‑‑ you’re cautious, but you’ve got hope there because you’ve been enlightened by the truth.  All of a sudden you start seeing how things connect, how they fit.  You start going “Aha, that’s it.  That’s what’s going on in my life.  That’s what the problem has been.  That’s what’s been happening.”  God is helping increase your understanding.  Have you ever wondered why in the Old Testament, or even in the New, God often gave people new names?  He changed Abram’s name to Abraham.  He changed Saul’s name to Paul.  He changed Peter’s name from Littlerock to Solidrock.  He changed Jacob’s name to Israel.  Now, why did He do that?  Because He’s doing a phase four on them.  He’s giving them a new identity.  He’s helping them see themselves in a new light.  He’s helping them get a bigger perspective.  He’s helping them see the truth about themselves.  He’s giving them deeper understanding.  And that’s what this phase is all about. 

Now, I need to warn you of two things about this stage when God’s working in your life.  You start learning things.  Number one:  The truth does set you free but first it makes you miserable.  And, it will so just count on it.  It does set you free but it will make you miserable first because sometimes the truth is ugly.  Isn’t that true?  Sometimes the truth is painful.  Isn’t that true?  Sometimes it’s scary.  Sometimes the truth is unflattering about you.  And so, it will set you free but when you begin to learn these insights, initially, it may make you miserable first.  The second thing I need to warn you about in this phase is: That knowing the truth and doing the truth are two different things.  And, many people make the mistake, “Now that I know what’s wrong with me, I’m cured,” “Now that I know what  the problem is in my relationship, or in my personal life, I’m recovered, I’m healed, I’m finished, I’m well, I’ve changed.”  We do this all of the time as Americans.  We go to seminars, come home, put the binder on the shelf and say, “Well, I’ve got that under my belt.”  Or, we listen to some motivational tape and then put it on the shelf and say, “Now I’m changed.”  Yeah, like nothing you’ve changed.  There’s a big difference between knowing the truth and doing the truth and when you begin to get new insights about yourself, there is a false sense of satisfaction that says, Because I know it, I’ve done it.  This happens to you every Sunday if you don’t watch out.  Because, you walk out of here going, “Well now I understand pain,” like last week.  Or, this week, “Now I understand change, wow I’ve changed.”  No, you haven’t.  You must become a doer of the truth.  A lot of people get stuck in this phase; they know what to do but they don’t do it.  So, you have to move on to phase five and that is:

5.         Phase 5:  Conduct ‑‑ changing or correcting your conduct.  And this is where you begin acting on what you know.  You become a doer of the truth.  Look at James 2:17, let’s read it together,  “Faith, if it is not accompanied by ACTION, is dead.”  It’s saying there the issue is going to be:  Will I apply what I know now?  Do you know what the Bible calls this?  This is called “repentance.”  Repentance means acting on what’s right.  See, a lot of people think repentance means feeling sorry for something you’ve done wrong.  Question:  Can you feel sorry for something that you know you’ve done wrong and still not change?  Oh sure.  That’s not repentance ‑‑ I mean it’s far easier to cry than it is to change.  Repentance is not just feeling bad about what you’ve done wrong, it’s changing your lifestyle; changing your behavior.  You see, in the last phase you were working on your thoughts and, in this phase, you’re working on your behavior.  The fact is everybody in this room today knows far more than they’re doing.  We always know more than we’re doing.  I mean, the Pharisees knew what to do, they were great Bible scholars; they just didn’t apply it. 

At this phase, when you start trying to make changes in the way you act, what you’re likely to feel is frustrated.  If you felt frustrated this last week about an area you’re trying to change, Congratulations.  That is a good sign if you’re frustrated.  It means you’re making progress because frustration means you’re not where you used to be but you’re not yet where you want to be, so you’re somewhere in between and you’re frustrated.  That’s a good sign.  It means you’re not stuck back there and just being comfortable with a discomfort.  It means you’ve moved somehow toward maturity.  Frustration’s a good sign.  It means you’re making some progress.  Why do we get frustrated?  Because, anytime you try to do some new behavior, it feels awkward, it feels strange.  I mean, let’s say you’ve never had a quiet time and you start trying to spend time with God every morning ‑‑ that’s going to be frustrating for you because it’s something new.  Now, God has not said that change is easy, it’s not.  But, if you’re serious about change, you’ll do the right thing even when it feels awkward, or odd, or unusual, or if it just doesn’t feel like me; your image has to catch up with your behavior. 

Finally, you come to phase six. 

6.         Phase 6:  Commitment To Continue.  Because your character is never going to be completed as long as you live on this earth there will always be more to work on.  There will always be something else to do.  You’ll never be finished with changing and you’ll need to maintain what you’ve already achieved.  You can write this verse down.  Eph. 4:23 (LB) says, “. . . your attitudes and thoughts must be constantly changing.”  In other words, they don’t stop, they’re constantly changing for the better.  The goal is to be Christ-like.  It means you’re just growing.  You see, one of the other myths about change is this ‑‑ there’s a myth out there that says, One day I’m going to reach this point in my life ‑‑ kind of an emotional nirvana ‑‑ where I will no longer feel any pain about anything.  You’re never going to get there folks.  This is not Heaven, this is earth.  And so, you’re never going to reach that point where you never feel any pain about anything anymore.  It’s just not true.  I mean, how many of you have had an issue in your life that you’ve worked on and one day you say “I’m glad I’m done with that.”  Not on your life are you done with that.  Because, what’s going to happen is that a little bit later God’s going to bring it up again in your life and He’s going to say, “Now I’m going to take you a little deeper.  Now I want you to learn something more about yourself, about me, about life.  And, so, let’s just go back there.”  Now, you don’t start over, you don’t go back to where you first started, you start at where you left off.  Does that make sense?  And so, God’s going to keep coming back and growing you and developing you.  And so, at this stage what you’re likely to feel is discouragement.  In fact, at every phase you’ll feel tempted to bail out and say it’s too hard, it’s too difficult.  That’s why you have to commit to the continuing process of change. 

It takes more than desire to change, it takes discipline, it takes commitment.  There are very few people in this world willing to make that commitment.  People who are willing to make a commitment for lifelong learning, lifelong change, lifelong growth, are very rare.  Most people will not make a commitment for the long haul.  It’s far easier to bail out than it is to hang in on a problem.  Now, listen, if you marry, the number one tool that God will use in your life to help you grow is your spouse.  Did you hear that?  Don’t punch him in the elbow right now.  Spouses are heavenly sandpaper.  They spend more time with you, they know you better, you can’t put them on, they know what you’re like when you don’t feel good, they know you when you’re not living your image.  And so, God wants to use that. 

ii. how to cooperate with god’s process

Let me give you what you should do in each of these six phases:

1.         Phase 1:  Be Alert To God’s Voice.  As you face the future, you don’t really know what it’s going to happen but you’ve got to just stay tuned into God and realize that the restlessness and the troubles that you sometimes feel is God trying to get your attention and get you ready for change.  Job 33:13‑19 (NIV) says, “For God does speak ‑‑ now one way, now another ‑‑ though man may not perceive it.  In a dream . . . as they slumber . . . (or) he may speak in their ears . . . with warnings . . . Or a man may be chastened on a bed of pain with constant distress . . . .”  He’s saying here that God talks to us in many different ways, we just often don’t realize it.  We need to be alert to God’s voice. 

2.         Phase 2:  Accept God’s Comfort when the crisis comes.  Don’t run from Him, but run to Him.  Look at these verses.  Isa. 42:3, “God will encourage the fainthearted, those tempted to despair.”  Ps. 31:7 (LB), “You (God) have listened to my troubles and have seen the crisis in my soul.”  You know the pain you’re feeling right now, God has been paying attention to it.  He sees the crisis in your soul.  And so, when the crisis comes in your life, you should do as Jonah does.  Jonah 2:7 (LB), “When I had lost all hope, I turned my thoughts once more to the Lord.” 

3.         Phase 3:  Ask God For Courage when you’re facing unknown changes.  Isaiah tells us, Isa. 43:2, “When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I (God) will be with you.  When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown!  When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up . . . .”  Now, where is Jesus Christ in each of these phases of change?  He’s with you at every one of them.  He’s at every stage.  And, when God is walking through these six phases of change with you, you don’t have to be afraid.  You can have courage because He’s comforting you all along.  God will be with you.  You can’t predict where the change is going to take you but you can be sure of this:  God will be with you. 

4.         Phase 4:  Apply God’s Word.  That’s in that comprehension phase ‑‑ learning what the real truth is about the problem.  Remember it’s the truth that frees you and the more you apply truth in your life, the freer you’ll be.  The Bible says, 2 Tim 3:16 (LB), “The whole Bible . . . is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives; it straightens us out and helps us do what is right.”  Then James 1:22 (NIV) tells us, “Do not merely listen to the Word, and so deceive yourselves.  Do what it says.”   It’s saying here that information without application is deception.  You may take tremendous notes every Sunday and you can put them in a binder but, if you don’t do anything about it, you’re just deceiving yourself and you’re not really changing.  You think you’re growing but you’re not.  You’ve got to act on what you know.  You apply God’s word. 

5.         Phase 5:  Anticipate God’s Help.  The Bible says, Ps. 37:5 (LB), “Commit everything you do to the Lord.  Trust him to help you do it, and he will.”  Trust Him to help you do it.  You see, change is not a matter of willpower, it’s a matter of Godpower.  He’ll help you. 

6.         Phase 6:  Adhere To God’s Plan.  You know what adhere means?  It means to stick to something.  Stick to it, stay with it, don’t quit, don’t give up.  The Bible says, “If you continue in my Word, then you’ll know the truth and the truth will set you free.”  You’ve got to stay with it. 

Some of you may be at the quitting point today and you’re ready to give up on a dream, or on your health, on trying to change a habit that you know needs to be changed, or solve a problem that you know needs to be solved, and you’re ready to quit.  And, God has one word for you today and He brought you here just to hear this.  And, God’s word for you is this:  Don’t.  Don’t.  Anybody can quit.  Anybody can bail out.  He says “Don’t.  Don’t do it.” 

There are two promises I want to close with today.  Gal. 6:9 and Phil. 1:6.  Gal. 6:9 (LB) says, “Let us not get tired of doing what is right, for after a while we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t get discouraged and give up.”  If you quit, if you bail out, you will miss God’s best.  You don’t quit, you stick with it.  Phil 1:6 (NIV), let’s read this verse together, “Be confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  God, who starts something in your life, is going to finish it. 

There’s one other thing you need if you’re going to change, you need support.  You need people around you to encourage you.  Become part of a bible study.  Become part of the new intercessory prayer group.  You need people around you to encourage you. 

Let’s bow our heads for prayer:

Lord, I want to thank you that you are patient with us.  Father, thank you that you never give up on us.  Thank you that you take us through these stages, even when we don’t understand it and even when we don’t realize it, you’re making us more and more like you.  And Father, if there are people here today who don’t know your Son, Jesus, would you help them to see that this is their day and help them to turn to Jesus who can give them the power to change that they don’t have on their own. 

Now it’s your turn to pray.  Why don’t you say:

Jesus, I want to become what you want me to be.  And help me to take these steps and follow you.  I cannot do this on my own but I need your power to make me the person you want me to be.  For today I give my life completely to you.  Amen.

July 24 Sermon - The Truth About Your Pain

To listen to today's sermon, click here.

THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR PAIN

Exploding The Myths That Make Us Miserable - Part 3 of 6

07-24-11 Sermon

We’re in the series on “Exploding The Myths That Make Us Miserable.”  I want to talk about the truth about pain.  You know, America is a pain conscious nation.  Everywhere you look we’ve got advertisements for pain relievers, pain killers, pain reducers.  Science continues to come up with new formulas.  We’ve gone from aspirin to Tylenol, to ibuprofen, to nuproxin; they’re coming up with new and new pain killers.  When pharmacies are robbed, it is pain killers that are taken, not cash.  It seems like the whole world’s got a headache if you look at it from the advertising view point.  So, the fact is pain is part of life.  If you’re a human being, you’ll have physical pain, you’ll have emotional pain, and you’ll have spiritual pain. 

Now, the world has taught you many myths about pain that just aren’t true.  Some of them are harmless but one very destructive myth is this:  MYTH, “If I ignore my pain, it will go away.”  In other words, if I block it out of my memory, if I pretend it never happened, if I gloss over it, then I won’t be in pain.  Beneath that is another myth that says, It’s easier to avoid problems than it is to face them.  That’s just not true.  Psychologist Scott Peck has said this, “Fearing pain, almost all of us to a greater or lesser degree, attempt to avoid problems.  We procrastinate hoping they will go away.  We ignore and pretend they don’t exist.  We attempt to get out of them rather than suffer through them.”  This tendency to avoid problems and the emotional pain inherent is, listen to this, “The primary basis of human mental illness.”  The desire and attempt to avoid pain and our problems is “the primary basis for human illness.”  Now, the fact is, God doesn’t want you to ignore your pain, He wants you to discover the cause so you can find real relief. 

Pain is like a warning light and it’s saying something’s wrong in my life.  Is it wise to ignore a warning light?  No, it’s not.  And it’s not wise to ignore your pain; it’s saying something’s wrong.  The TRUTH is:  Pain is a tool God uses for good in my life.  Now, the problem is we often don’t understand it; we don’t realize what the good is.  In fact, Jesus said in John 13:7 (NIV), “Jesus replied, ‘You don’t realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.’”  And, nowhere is that truth more appropriate than pain because often pain comes into our life and we don’t understand why it’s there or what it’s there for.  We don’t see any purpose in it and if pain doesn’t have a purpose, it’s very difficult to handle. 

This morning, I’d like to take you through some things God says about pain in His Word.  First, five ways God uses pain for good in your life. 

I. HOW CAN GOD USE MY PAIN FOR GOOD?

1.         God Uses Pain To Goad Me.  That means to motivate me; goad means to spur into action.  Pain spurs us into action like nothing else.  I mean, I don’t want to go to a dentist until the pain gets so bad that the pain is greater than my fear, and then I’ll move into action.  “We don’t change when we see the light, we change when we feel the heat.”  Pr. 20:30 (GN) says, “Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways.”  Do you agree with that verse?  Yeah.  You see, pain prompts us to do things we’d rather put off; it prods us and it pushes us and it compels us to change.  Pain forces us to change when we don’t want to change.  By the way, do you know how many psychiatrists it takes to change a light bulb?  One, but the light bulb must really want to be changed.  [Laughter]  Now, pain really makes you want to be changed.  Usually when we hit bottom, then we’re ready to change.  That’s the Prodigal Son’s example here in Lk 15:14‑18 (GN), (Prodigal Son)  “ . . . spent everything he had . . . and way hungry . . . .  At last he came to his senses and said . . . ‘I’ll get up and go to my father . . . .”  The hunger pains finally motivated him to move.  Do you ever have hunger pains?  Some of us have them perpetually.  Let’s get back to the point here:  God uses pain to motivate me, to goad me, and we’d rarely change if we didn’t have any pain in our life. 

Sometimes chest pain will get a person to change his/her eating habits.  Sometimes breathing problems will get a person to stop smoking.  Sometimes a DUI arrest will get a person to stop drinking.  Pain can goad us, or motivate us to change.

Number two:

2.         God Uses Pain To Guide Me.  In other words, like a bit in a horse’s mouth, God takes pain and He turns us in different directions because of the pain.  Ps. 11971‑72 (LB), “ . . . it was the best thing that could have happened to me, for it taught me to pay attention to your laws.”  Now, David is saying, Pain is a teaching tool.  Has God ever had to get your attention through pain?  Oh yeah, and you’re very well aware of that.  You see, God whispers to us in our pleasure, but He SHOUTS to us in our pain.  He says, “I want your attention” and boy does He get it when you’re in pain.  It’s like a direct signal.  Now, sometimes it doesn’t take a lot of pain ‑‑ you know just like a little rudder can turn a big ship ‑‑ sometimes just a little pain in your life will lead you in a new direction and God not only goads us into action, but He guides us through pain.  And so, like when a baby cries, that means I need to be changed, and so pain means something needs to be changed.  Look at the next verse.  Heb 12:7 (LB), “Let God train you, for he is doing what any loving father does for his children.  Whoever heard of a child who was never corrected?”  Look at the word “train,” because sometimes the only way to train is through pain.  How many of you who are parents would rather not have to discipline your children?  Sure.  How many of you parents, even though you’d rather not have to discipline, sometimes have to do it anyway for their own good?  Sure.  And, why do you do it?  Out of love. 

God is the same way.  God doesn’t like to bring pain in your life, but sometimes he has to do it anyway, to discipline you, to train you, to move you in the right direction.  It’s not because He’s angry, it’s not because He’s retaliating, it’s not because He doesn’t like you and wants to get revenge, it’s because He loves you.  You see, Aristotle once said, “Some things we only learn through pain.”  In fact, some things you learned by being burned.  In fact, I would say this, The person who has never suffered, really knows nothing.  I don’t like to be around people who have never had any pain in their life, I really don’t.  They’re phony, they’re fake, they’re superficial.  They think everything is so easy.  It’s not.  In fact, I would say that the greatest insights in life are found at the center of pain.  That’s where they’re found.  Some things you are only going to learn through pain because you’re a human being.  And so, God goads us but He also guides us with the pain that we have in our lives.  But, we never need to doubt God’s love.  His motive behind all of the pain is to guide us; it’s for our good. 

3.         God Uses Pain Not Only To Goad Me, To Guide Me, But He Uses It To Gauge Me.  In other words, it’s a measuring tool.  God uses pain to help you see what you’re like on the inside.  For instance, when I experience pain, the way I react to it measures my faith.  My commitments can be gauged by how I react to pain.  My maturity can be gauged by how I react to pain.  My patience can be gauged by how I react to pain.  It’s one way of seeing what’s on the inside of you.  People are like tea bags ‑‑ you don’t know what’s in them until you drop them in hot water.  And, you really don’t know what’s inside you until you’ve faced the test of pain. 

The Bible often compares pain to a refining fire.  Like a fire you heat up to refine gold or silver and, as it heats the gold or silver, the impurities are burned off; the dross is burned off.  And so, God wants to use pain in your life to burn off some impurities, to burn off some things that shouldn’t be there.  Now, the question is the hurt that you’re feeling right now, the pain that you’re experiencing this week, what are you allowing it to burn off in your life?  If you let it, pain will burn off selfishness ‑‑ it just makes you a lot more unselfish.  If you let it, it will burn off materialism ‑‑ the grip of having to have things really don’t matter when you’re in pain.  It’s a great refiner of ego and pride ‑‑ pain pops that ego balloon real quick.  It will burn off impatience…, so many things.  God says, “I want to refine you through this process.”  Isa. 48:10 (NIV), “I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.”  It says, I’ve tested you; pain is a test, it exposes the real you, it shows what you’re like on the inside.  You know why?  Because it’s impossible to maintain an “image” when you’re in pain.  You know, when you’re feeling good ‑‑ I mean, you’ve got your hair done, you’ve got your makeup on, you’ve got your nails done, you’ve got your best clothes on, you’ve got your bling on, you’re feeling pretty good, you’ve got your image, you even walk a certain way, but just give you three days at home with the flu and your hair is all disheveled, you look ugly, ugly, ugly, and you couldn’t care less about image.  Why?  Because you’re miserable and when you’re miserable, you don’t care about image.  And, God says that’s good because you ought to care more about character than you do about image. 

Pain tests character.  I mean, you may say, “I am a person of integrity,” but when the pain is on, will you stand for the truth or will you buckle under and compromise.  You may say, “I’m totally committed to Christ,” but when pain occurs, because of your commitment to Christ, do you want to throw in the towel and forget it?  You see, you can say one thing, but pain reveals what you’re really are.  Look at this verse.  James 1:2‑3 (Mes), “. . . tests and challenges come at you from all sides.  (And)  You know that under pressure, your faith life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.”  He’s saying here, pressure  shows what you’re like on the inside.  Now, what does pressure reveal about your faith?  When you’re in the squeeze at the office or at home, or at school, what are the true colors that show up there?  Are you a fair weather believer, or are you a consistent believer?  You see, this is the reason why the children of Israel spent 40 years in the wilderness.  You know, it would have only taken them about two weeks to march from Egypt to Israel, but it took them 40 years.  Why?  Because out in that desert, God let them wander around and around and around and He put them through seven tests so they would know what they were like on the inside.  He was goading them, He was guiding them, and He was gauging them.  Notice this verse here.  Deut. 8:2 (LB), “God led you through the wilderness for forty years, humbling you and testing you to find out how you would respond, and whether or not you would really obey him.” 

It is interesting that the root word for wilderness in Hebrew means a place of hearing.  God sent the people of Israel into the wilderness so they would listen to him and learn from him.  For 40 years he was asking them, Can you hear me now?  He provided for all their needs there.  But they needed to learn to trust him.

Some of you may be going through a wilderness, a desert experience, a place of hearing, right now.  And, in the desert, things dry up.  Maybe you’re in an emotional wilderness right now, maybe you’ve had a relationship dry up, maybe you’ve had your finances dry up, maybe you’ve had an opportunity dry up and you’re going through the desert, maybe you’ve had your health dry up.  God says, “It’s a test.”  And He says, “I’m gauging you so you’ll know what’s inside of you.”  And, when you go through those tough times and you say, “I don’t have any feelings at all, I just don’t feel anything,” you’re going through a desert.  “I feel so apathetic,” you’re in the wilderness.  And God maybe be gauging you, He may be guiding you, He may be goading you or, number four, he may be guarding you. 

4.         God Uses Pain To Guard Us.  Sometimes God uses pain to protect us from something worse, something far worse.  Sometimes He uses pain to protect us and prevent us from getting involved in something that we shouldn’t be involved in.  Like, He doesn’t want you in a certain place so you’re not there, because of pain.  So, God uses it to guard us.  Pain can be a blessing in disguise.  I mean, for instance, if you have a fever, that is a way that your body tells you that you probably have an infection in your body that needs to be dealt with and, if you never had any fever, that infection could take over your body—you might even die from it.  In fact, a minor pain can often trigger an awareness of a life-threatening disease and, if you didn’t have that pain, you’d never know it and you’d be gone.  Sometimes God uses pain to guard us.  I’m simply saying this, Emotions, painful emotions, say something’s out of kilter here.  And, when I feel depression, or when I feel resentment, or anger, or worry, or when I feel apathy, or when I feel fear, or when I feel hostility, it is saying to me something is out of whack in my life, something’s out of balance, and God’s saying, “I want you to get this corrected” ‑‑ the emotions are the symptom of it.  God uses pain to guard us, to protect us. 

You know that Middle Eastern shepherds, sometimes have a sheep or a lamb that’s prone to wander ‑‑ like it won’t stay with the flock but it tends to run off by itself ‑‑ and they want to protect it, they don’t want it to fall off some cliff.  They know that if it gets out there by itself some wolf will eat it or it will get caught in the briars or something like that, they want to keep it close, do you know what they’ll do?  A lamb that is prone to wander, they will break one of its legs.  Now, that sounds pretty cruel, but they’re doing it out of love.  They will break its leg and put a splint on it so that little sheep can only hobble along until the leg heals and the sheep is going, “I’ve got this splint, now I can’t get away,” and the shepherd’s going, “That’s exactly right,” and he’s a good shepherd.  Sometimes God allows pain in your life and puts a splint on your life that keeps you from wandering too far from the flock.  And you may resent it, and you may resist it, but it’s because God loves you; He’s guarding you. 

Do you remember the story of Joseph in the Bible?  I mean, the guy’s story, the first chapter of his life is like a horror story; everything went wrong for this guy.  And, for forty years he’s neglected, and he’s rejected, and he’s sold into slavery by his brothers and falsely accused of rape, and he’s thrown into prison, and then he’s forgotten in prison, falsely accused.  I mean his whole life is a just a massive heartache.  But, if you read the end of the story, you realize that God was preparing him and, through those circumstances, he ends up being second in command in Egypt and saved not only Egypt, but Israel. 

At the end of his life Joseph says to his brothers who sold him into slavery, Gen 50:20 (NIV), “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good . . . ”  There may be people in your life who mean to harm you.  They may have harmed you as a child, they may be harming you right now, emotionally, physically, or in some other way they’re out to harm you and, that may hurt, but, God says, “I have a plan and purpose bigger than that and they mean it for bad, but I mean it for good.”  You see, all along in Joseph’s life, God was guarding, and guiding, and goading, and gauging Joseph for greatness because, listen, there is no greatness without pain.  And so he says, “You meant it for bad, but God meant it for good; He was guarding me.”  You know, what I like about Joseph is later on in life he had two sons and he named them Manasseh and Ephraim.  Do you know what they mean?  Manasseh means in Hebrew:  He made me to forget.  And Ephraim means:  Fruitful or successful.  And, later on in life, after 40 years of pain, he could say “God has blessed me so much and I can see the picture clearer now, that it’s made me forget all of that pain from my childhood and He’s made me successful now.”  And God wants to do that in your life. 

5.         God Uses Pain To Grow Me, to make me mature.  Margaret Clarksen has written a book called “Grace Grows Best In Winter” and I love that title.  You see, it is possible to grow spiritually and emotionally during bright, healthy, cheerful, sunny days of summer when everything’s going great and life’s fantastic.  Sure you can grow in that but, you grow far faster and far deeper in the dark phase of the soul.  You grow far deeper and far greater in the valleys rather than in the mountain tops ‑‑ it’s just the way you’re made.  Many people will testify-- I’ve had the toughest time of my life but I’d have to say that I’ve grown more through this separation than any other time in my life.”  “I’ve grown more through this unemployment than any other time in my life.”  “I’ve grown more through this loss of a loved one than in any other time in my life.”  “I’ve grown more through this illness than in any other time in my life.”  “I’ve grown more through this crisis than in any other time in my life.”  “I’ve grown more through this loneliness than in any other time my life.”  Because grace grows best in winter and God uses pain to grow me.  James 1:4 (LB), “For when the way is rough, your patience has a chance to grow.  So let it grow, and don’t try to squirm out of your problems . . . then you will be ready for anything, strong in character, full and complete.” 

Somewhere on your outline would write this sentence in:  Pain is the high cost of growth.  I mean, its trite, but its true; there is no gain without pain.  It just doesn’t come any other way.  There are no five easy steps to life becoming wonderful.  There is no gain without pain.  The fact is, we want the product without the process.  What’s the product?  Oh, we want the maturity, we want the emotional stability, we want the health and wholeness, we want the confidence and the meaning and significance and purpose of life, but we don’t want the process which is pain and suffering, and tough times.  We want all of the stability and wholeness of emotions, but we don’t want to go through the process.  But, you can’t short circuit it.  In fact, if I were to summarize everything I want to say to you this morning, it would be this:  The very thing that discourages you the most God uses to develop you and it is not an accident.  Look at what the message says, James 1:4.  “. . . So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely.  Let it do its work so you become mature and well developed.” 

You know, when I read the Bible and I read the Psalms and I see these moving, powerful, intense Psalms, I begin to think how was David able to write so eloquently, these moving Psalms.  Well, all you have to do is think about his childhood because if you want a dysfunctional family, David had it.  I mean, he was rejected, he was put out to pasture to take care of the sheep at the farthest end while everybody else was at home partying  He spent time alone, he was not loved by his father ‑‑ that’s very obvious ‑‑ he was considered the least in his family, he went through loneliness, rejection, neglect, all of those things.  And then Saul chased him all over the countryside for 17 years trying to kill him.  It was during those painful times he wrote some of the most beautiful Psalms. 

Paul says it like this, talking about the pain he has experienced, 1 Cor. 1:9 (Ph), “(This happened) . . . so we might learn to trust, not in ourselves, but in God . . . .”  You see, you don’t know, you really don’t know that Jesus Christ is all you need until Jesus Christ is all you’ve got.  Then you’ll know it. 

Your pain matters to God, it does.  And He hurts with you, and He cares about you.  Now, pain never leaves you where it finds you; it always moves you.  You need to  allow your pain to move you into the loving arms of Jesus Christ.  Look at this verse on your outline.  Gal. 3:4 (Ph), “Has all your painful experience brought you nowhere?”  What I’m saying here is don’t waste your hurt, don’t waste your pain.  Pain turns some people into saints but it turns other people into devils.  It makes some people bitter, it makes some people better, and that’s your choice.  Robert Johnson says, “Pain is inevitable, it’s a part of life, but misery is optional”.  And, if you let your hurts-- emotional, physical, or whatever, lead you into a relationship with Christ and to know Him, then you will be able to say like Paul said in 2 Cor 7:9 (LB), “Now I am glad . . . not because it hurt you but because the pain turned you to God . . . .”  My plea to you today is that you will give your hurt and your heart to Jesus Christ, the great physician. 

1 Peter 4:19 (LB) says, “If you are suffering according to God’s will, keep on doing what is right and trust yourself to the God who made you, for he will never fail you.”  You can’t say that about anybody else.  JESUS WILL NEVER FAIL YOU. 

I want to encourage you to close today with a little self-evaluation.  Think of the hurt that you’re going through and the pain you’re going through and ask yourself this, Father, are you using this to goad me, to motivate me into action, to do something I know I ought to be doing anyway?  Are you using this pain to guide me, to point me in a new direction?  Are you using this pain to gauge me, to help me measure myself and see what I’m really like on the inside and see what needs to be changed.  Is it a warning light that something’s out of kilter?  Are you using this pain to guard me, to protect me from something worse, to keep me from wandering too far, to keep me dependent upon you?  Are you using this pain to grow me, to make me more like your Son, Jesus Christ?  Paul said, “(This happened) . . . so that we might learn to trust, not in ourselves, but in God.” 

One other Truth about pain—It won’t last forever. 

Did you know that when Jesus died on the cross, he didn’t just die there for your sins?  He died for your sicknesses and your pains as well.  Look at this verse from Isaiah 53 describing Jesus’ ministry:

Surely he took up our infirmities (diseases) and carried our sorrows (pains), yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted.  But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.  Is. 53:4-5

In case you are not sure that this is how that verse is supposed to be understood, look at the next one from Matthew 8 that refers to those verses from Isaiah 53.

When evening came, many who were demon-possessed were brought to him, and he drove out the spirits with a word and healed all the sick.  This was to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet Isaiah:  “He took up our infirmities and carried our diseases.”  Mt. 8: 16-17

Jesus was concerned about those suffering physical pain and he healed them.  Look at the next verse from Matthew 4:

News about him spread all over Syria, and people brought to him all who were ill with various diseases, those suffering severe pain, the demon-possessed, the epileptics and the paralytics, and he healed them.  Mt. 4:24

We are going to pray for anyone in pain this morning, but I want you to know that if you have given your life to Christ, this world is not your home, heaven is your home and when you get to heaven there will be no more pain of any kind. He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.  Rev. 21:4  There is no such promise for the one who has not given their life to Christ, but for those who have done that, you will eventually go to a better place where there is no pain anymore, forever. 

[prayer for those in pain]

Let’s bow our heads:

Father, I know that there are many people here today that are in pain.  Some of them have been carrying a load for weeks, for months, some having been carrying loads for years, and it hurts.  Thank you that you care about our pain and our hurt. 

Now, why don’t you talk to God.  Why don’t you say this,

Dear God, would you help me with my hurt.  Thank you that it matters to you. Thank you that I matter to you.  Thank you that you love me.  Thank you that you sent your Son, Jesus Christ, for my sake.  Not to explain my pain away but to walk through it with me.  And, so today, dear Jesus, I ask you to take every part of my life, especially the part that hurts, and use it for good in my life and help me walk through this.  I want to trust you and I want to know you.  In your name I pray.  Amen

August 2011 Newsletter

August 2011 Newsletter

July 17, 2011 Sermon - THE TRUTH ABOUT GOD

To listen to this Sunday's sermon, click here.

THE TRUTH ABOUT GOD

Exploding The Myths That Make Us Miserable - Part 2 of 6

07-17-11 Sermon

I started a series last week that I’m calling “Exploding The Myths That Make Us Miserable.”  There are things that happen in your life, and the way you interpret them determines whether it makes you a bitter person or a better person, and that your beliefs do make a difference.  We are exposing some myths that the world has taught you ‑‑ myths about yourself, myths about life, myths about the future, and, today we’re going to look at myths about God, because the way you see God actually affects the way you see yourself.  You’re made in God’s image, and if you have a warped image of God, you’re going to have a distorted image of yourself. 

Now, what is God really like?  Well, when Jesus came along, He exploded all of the myths, all the misconceptions, all the stereotypes about God.  Because, up to that point, God had been seen primarily as someone who’s distant, someone who is aloof, who is powerful but isn’t close and personal.  And, Jesus taught that the number one way we can think of God is to think of God like a father.  In fact, He used the term “father” over a 150 times in the Bible.  He says, “God is our Heavenly Father; He’s our Father in heaven.” 

Now, the problem with that is that for some people, father brings up all kinds of painful memories.  It’s not a positive term for many people.  They think of someone who was aloof, or distant, or uncaring, or unconcerned.  They think of a father who wasn’t there when they needed him.  And so, the question really becomes:  What kind of father is God?  What is He really like?  You see, if you have a misconception about what God is really like, you will find yourself worrying about things that you don’t need to worry about if you don’t know what God’s really like.  You’ll find yourself feeling guilty in situations you shouldn’t feel guilty in.  You’ll find yourself carrying burdens and fears that you don’t need to carry ‑‑ all because you misunderstand what God is like. 

Some people say, “Well, I don’t believe in God.”  Whenever you hear that, ask them, “Please describe the kind of God you don’t believe in,” because I have often found out they don’t believe in some myths about God.  Specifically, there are four myths that are very common today.  If you buy into any of these myths, it will rob you of so much happiness in life.  So, this morning I want us to look at these and apply the truth; compare it to what Jesus says about God. 

Now, let’s look at the first one:

1.             Myth #1:  “God Is Unreasonable.”  Now this myth goes kind of like this, “God places so many demands on my life.  There is no way I could possibly do them all.  He’s too strict.  He’s unreasonable.  He’s unrealistic.  All He wants me to be is a good and boring person.  He doesn’t want me to have fun.  He’s a kill-joy.  He’s a sourpuss.”  And that God is kind of like some Puritan grandfather who sits up in heaven with this scowl on his face looking down on us, waiting for somebody to have a moment of fun so He can say, “Stop that,” or waiting to say “No” to us all of the time.  This is not a new myth.  In fact, it’s the first recorded words of the devil in the Bible.  Back in Genesis when God created the Garden of Eden, the perfect environment. 

Now, notice what God says in Gen. 2:17 (CW):  (God) “You may eat of every tree in the Garden, but there is ONE tree I don’t want you to eat of . . . .”  Now, Satan comes along a little while later in Chapter 3 and he says to Eve, (Satan) “Did God really say that you must not eat fruit from ANY tree in the garden?”  Do you catch the shift here?  Do you see what he’s done?  He’s switching the truth for a lie; he’s reversed it.  God had said, “There’s just one you can’t eat,” and Satan says, “No, God is saying there’s none you can eat.”  He’s turned it around.  He’s trying to make God appear unreasonable. 

God is not unreasonable.  The Bible says, The Truth is God Is A Compassionate Father.  That means He is motivated by love.  Everything that God does, even when He says “No” to certain things, He does it because He loves you.  Ps. 145:9 says, God is good to everyone, and his compassion is intertwined with everything he does.”  He’s loving, He’s kind, He’s generous, and everything God does for you, He does out of compassion because He loves you.  Everything you have in life is a gift from God.  In fact, if it weren’t for God, you wouldn’t have anything; you wouldn’t even be alive.  So, everything you have in life is a good gift and God says, “I want you to enjoy these gifts, but I don’t want you to abuse them.  I don’t want you to misuse them because you’ll get hurt.” 

Don’t you think it would have been a whole lot better if people had followed God’s prescription?  Lam 3:22 (LB), “God’s compassion never ends.  It is only his mercies that have kept us from complete destruction.”  You see, God knows what He’s doing. 

Would you write this down:  Any time God says no to me, it is because He loves me.  It’s because He wants what’s best for me.  Not because He’s a miser, an ogre, or a sourpuss, or a kill-joy, but because He really does care about you.  You see, Satan’s goal is to convince you that obeying God and having fun are mutually exclusive; that they’re opposites.  And then he adds, “God doesn’t love you.  He wants you to be miserable.  He wants you to have no fun.  He wants to take away all of your joy.”  Now, if you think that God doesn’t want you to be happy, you have been duped by the devil.  Look at these verses, Ps 37:4 (NIV), “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.”  Does that sound like He’s being unreasonable?  No.  Does it sound like He’s a kill-joy?  No.  Look at the next one:  1 Tim 6:17 (NIV), “. . . God richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment.”  Does that sound like a kill-joy?  No.  He created the world for you to enjoy.  Rom 8:32 (LB), “Since he did not spare even his own Son for us . . . won’t God also surely give us everything else?”  Does that sound like somebody who wants to make your life miserable?  No.  Ps 84:11, “No good thing will he withhold from those who walk uprightly.”  In other words, God will not hold anything back from the child who wants to obey and do what’s right.  God is a compassionate father.  He loves to give gifts to you.  He loves to give gifts to His children.  Over 20 times in the Bible He says, “Ask.  I want you to ask . . . ask and it shall be given . . . seek and you’ll find . . . knock and the door will be open.”  He says, “Ask that your joy will be full.”  One time Jesus said this, “If you’re being an imperfect parent, know how to give good gifts to your kids.  Don’t you think your perfect heavenly Father wants to give good gifts to you if you’ll just ask.”  So, God is not unreasonable, but He is compassionate.  And, for every “No” that He says, there are a thousand “Yes’.”  He’s not a God of prohibition, He’s a God of permission and He wants you to be happy.

The second myth is:

2.         Myth #2:  “God Is Unreliable.”  Now, this one says that God cannot be trusted, that He’ll lie to you, that He’s inconsistent, that He’s fickle, that He changes His mind, He acts one way one day and one way the next day and so you really can’t figure out whether God likes you or not because He won’t tell you the truth.  And, again, this is as old as the Garden of Eden.  Notice this verse, Gen 3:3‑5 (LB), (Eve) “God says we must not eat it (that tree) . . . or we’ll die.”  (Satan)  “That’s a lie!  You’ll not die!  God knows very well the instant you eat it you’ll become like him . . . .”  Now, you can understand from this that there are two phases in temptation ‑‑ any time you’re tempted it’s going to happen in two phases.  Phase One is doubt; Phase Two is deception.  The way the devil tempts you in any area of life is this:  First, he tries to get you to doubt what God has said.  He’ll do this, “Did God really say this is wrong?”  Or, he’ll say, “Did He really mean it when He said it,” or “Maybe He meant it then but maybe doesn’t mean it now.”  And so, he tries to get you to doubt the truth of God’s word.  And then he will offer his own lie, which says, “It can’t hurt anybody . . . nobody will ever know . . . everybody does it . . . just this once,” etc., etc., etc.  And, he offers his lie ‑‑ doubt, then deception ‑‑ and the result is destruction; you reap what you sow.  The truth is that God is reliable; in fact, God is a consistent father.  He’s not only compassionate, but He’s consistent.  He can be counted on to always act the same way towards you.  Rom 11:29 (NCV) says this, “God never changes his mind about the people he calls and the things he gives them.”  He never changes His mind about you. 

Now, listen, maybe some of you grew up with unpredictable fathers.  A guy said one time, “I never know if my dad’s going to hug me or slug me.  I don’t know if he’s going to be silent or violent.  I don’t know if he’s going to be tender or tough.  If he’s going to accept me or reject me.”  And, maybe some of you grew up with parents that were very inconsistent in their attitude towards you and inconsistent fathers produce insecure kids.  The problem is that you may have taken that image of your earthly dad and you’ve put it over on to your eternal, heavenly Father, and you think that’s the way God treats you.  You think one day God’s happy with you; the next day, He’s sad.  One day He likes you and the next day He’s going to kick you.  Well, how much time do you want to spend with somebody who’s inconsistent?  You don’t want to spend any time with them and that’s why you tend not to want to pray because you don’t know if God’s going to like you or not.  Listen, God does not get moody; He is consistent.  God doesn’t have bad hair days.  He’s not temperamental.  He doesn’t wake up grumpy some mornings.  He’s always consistent.  In fact, turn your notes over.  Rom 11:29 (LB), second half of the verse, “ . . . God will never go back on his promises.”  It says He’s absolutely reliable. 

A study once that said the number one reason kids rebel against their parents is because of resentment, and the number one cause of resentment is broken promises.  “Dad, you promised you’d do this.”  “Mom, you promised you’d do that,” and a broken promise leads to resentment and resentment leads to rebellion.  God isn’t that kind of a father who says he’ll do something and then doesn’t do it.  You can count on it.  In fact, one thing you can always count on is, God’s love for you is never going to change.  Notice this verse here, Ps. 59:10 (LB), “My God is changeless in his love for me.”  You can always count on it.  When everything else is changing, you can count on this:  God will never stop loving me.  God will never, never, never stop loving me.  It doesn’t matter what I do, where I am, what happens to me, or through me, or in me, God will never stop loving me.  Why?  Because He’s compassionate, but more than that, He is consistently compassionate.  He doesn’t waiver.  He doesn’t love you one day and then hate you the next day.  He’s consistent and no matter what happens, He’s compassionate and consistent. 

Now the third myth is this:

3.         Myth #3:  “God Is Unconcerned With Me.”  And this is a big one that will cause you a lot of unhappiness if you buy into it.  This one says, “God is unconcerned with me because I’m insignificant.  I don’t want to bother God with my problems because He’s got to deal with much, much bigger problems.  He’s got world situations, war, and famine, and earthquakes, and crises around the world, and starving children.  My problems are so petty and so insignificant, God couldn’t be interested in me.  He’s too busy, I don’t want to bother him.”  And then of course, the devil comes along and whispers in your ear, “Who do you think you are?  You’re coming to God and praying, bringing your problems to God.  You’re worthless.  Why would God care about you?”  That’s what he says.  He says, “You’re a zero, you don’t matter, you’re insignificant, you don’t count.”  Now, that is one of the most destructive myths out there and Satan loves to perpetrate it on you.  And, if you buy into it, it will make you miserable ‑‑ that God is unconcerned.  What is the truth?  The truth is, that God is a caring father.  He’s caring and close.  Matt 10:29 (NCV) says this, “Not one sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it.” 

Now look, if God cares about little dinky birds and not one of them falls out of its nest onto the ground without God taking note of it, don’t you think He is intimately aware of every detail in your life?  Don’t you think you can count on the fact that He’s interested in every part of your life?  You see, He doesn’t go on overload; God has the ability to care deeply about everything because He’s God.  If you think He’s unconcerned about you, you’ve got a misconception ‑‑ a myth- about God.  He is concerned about every single detail of your life and that’s why He wants you to talk to Him about it.  He wants you to talk with Him.  You see, nothing is too small or insignificant for God to care about ‑‑ He cares even about sparrows ‑‑ if you’re continually under His watchful eye.  Look at the next verse, Matt 10:30‑31 (NCV), “God even knows how many hairs are on your head.  So don’t worry.  You’re worth much more than many sparrows.” 

Do you realize how much God says you’re worth?  If you don’t realize how much God says you’re worth, you will experience a lot of depression in life.  You know, psychologists tell us that the number one root of unhappiness is confused identity.  That when you don’t really know who you are, it causes a lot of problems.  In fact, most people have very little idea about who they are and they don’t even like the little they do know about themselves.  The issue of identity is this:  Who am I?  Do I matter?  Does my life count?  Does my life have value?  Am I worth anything?  Who am I? 

Psychologists also tell us that your identity comes largely from what you think your parents thought of you, particularly your father.  So, for instance, if you had a father who said you would never amount to much, then you would tend to build your life on that.  If you had a dad that said to you, “You’re so incompetent, you’re so clumsy,” then you would tend to act that way the rest of your life; that we set ourselves up by what we think our dads think of us.  That’s what psychology says.  But, God says it really doesn’t matter so much what your parents think about you because they’re imperfect; they make mistakes.  What really counts is what your Heavenly Father says about you because that’s the truth.  And the truth is, God says you’re worth a lot.  You see, you don’t need everybody’s approval in life to be happy.  What you do need to be happy is the truth.  And, the truth is, God says, “You’re valuable; I care about you.” 

God is not watching you from a distance; He’s watching you up close and personal.  He’s with you everywhere you go.  He’s not out there distant ‑‑ you may not want Him to go with you everywhere you go ‑‑ but He’s with you everywhere you go. 

Notice what Jesus said in John 14:23 (NCV), (Jesus) “If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching.  My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.”  God says, “I want to live with you.”  In fact, He doesn’t just want to live with you; He wants to live inside you.  He says, “I’ll put my Spirit in you.”  You don’t get any closer than that.  God is not just a caring, compassionate, consistent father; He’s a close father; He’s never away from you.  Now, the result of that is if God’s with me all of the time, I really don’t need to worry.  Look at this verse, Matt. 6:33 (NCV), “Don’t worry ‘What will we eat . . . or drink . . . or wear?’  People who don’t know God keep trying to get these things, and your Father in heaven knows you need them.  The thing you should want most is God’s kingdom and doing what God wants.  Then all these other things you need will be given to you.”  He says you don’t need to worry.  God’s with you.  He’s with you all of the time.  He’s compassionate, consistent, caring and close so you don’t need to worry.  When you worry, you’re acting like an atheist; you’re pretending like God doesn’t exist.  Quickly, the fourth myth about God is:

4.         Myth #4:  “God Is Unpleasable.”  Some of you may have had unpleasable parents and you’ve put that idea over onto your Heavenly Father.  You had parents that felt you were never quite good enough.  If you got C’s on your report card, they wanted B’s.  And, if you got B’s, they wanted A’s.  If you got A’s, they wanted straight A’s.  And, you got the impression that you never were quite good enough to please your dad or your mom.  And, if you straightened up your room, they came in and straightened it up a little bit more.  And, if you hung up your clothes, they came in and hung them up a little bit better.  It was just never good enough.  And, some of you think that’s the way God is ‑‑ that God is always disappointed in you.  That He’s always discouraged, that you’re always letting Him down. 

Now, if that’s really what you think about God, is it any wonder why you don’t want to talk to Him?  Do you like hanging out with people that you feel are always disappointed in you?  No.  And, if that’s really the way you think God is toward you, you’re going to reject Him; you’re not going to spend time with Him.  Some of you have figured it this way, “God is perfect and on a scale of 1 to 100, He’s up at 100 and I’m not; therefore, I’m always letting God down.”  God says, “You’re not letting me down because you’re not holding me up.”  So, what is God like?  Is He really unpleasable?  No.  The Bible says that He’s a gracious Father.  A gracious Father means He acts in grace.  That means that He gives you what you need, not what you deserve.  If we all got what we deserve, none of us would be sitting here right now.  But, He gives you what you need; He’s gracious. 

You say, “What must I do, God, for you to accept me?”  The answer is:  Nothing.  There is nothing you can do to be acceptable, you simply accept what God has already done for you ‑‑ that’s called grace.  1 Cor 6:11 (LB) says, “. . . God has accepted you because of what the Lord Jesus Christ and the Spirit have done for you.”  You know, we all want to be accepted in life and so we wear certain clothes, and act a certain way, and try to get certain awards on our shelves, and try to accomplish something with our lives so that we will be accepted.  What do you have to do to be accepted by God?  Nothing, just accept His gift of acceptance through Christ because acceptance is not based on your performance, it’s based on God’s character, that He’s a gracious God.  Did you know that the Bible teaches that even before you were born, God already knew every sin you were going to commit?  When God made you, He gave you freedom of choice.  He knew you were going to make some stupid choices in life, some dumb choices.  That’s called Sin ‑‑ when you choose to do the wrong thing rather than the right thing.  God already knew you would sin even before you were born. 

And, the Bible says Heaven is a perfect place and only perfect people get to go there, because if imperfect people were allowed into Heaven, it wouldn’t be perfect anymore.  That means you don’t stand a chance of working your way into Heaven, and neither do I.  So, God came up with a plan.  Notice Eph 1:4 (LB), “Long ago, even before he made the world, God chose us to be his very own through what Christ would do for us; he decided then to make us holy in his eyes, without a single fault ‑‑ we who stand before him covered with his love.” 

Let me just say something that will shock you:  God is never disappointed in you.  You say, “How could that be?  I disappoint myself.”  That’s because you don’t know yourself.  Disappointment means something has to happen that you didn’t expect.  God already knows all of the dumb things you’re going to do in life; He already knows the sins you’re going to commit, so it’s not like He’s not expecting it to happen.  Because He’s given you a free choice, He already knows the stupid choices you’ll make.  So, when it happens, He’s not disappointed because He already knew.  But, He is a gracious, forgiving God. 

Nobody’s perfect.  Do you agree with that?  So, the Bible says we all fall short.  Some fall shorter than others, but we all fall short.  So, God’s plan was He sent Jesus to make up the difference, however much that is in your life.  Does that make sense?  He sent Jesus to make up the difference so you get into Heaven on His ticket.  That’s what God wants to do.  How can I be pleasing to God?  God is not unpleasable, He’s a gracious God.  How do I please Him?  Notice Rom 3:22 (LB), “God says he will accept and acquit us ‑‑ declare us ‘not guilty’ ‑‑ if we trust Jesus Christ to take away our sins . . . no matter who we are or what we have been like.”  And you say, “Oh, Frank, but you don’t know what I’ve done.”  It says, no matter who we are or what we have been like if we accept His Son.  Now, God wants you to have a relationship with Him so He’s done all He could to make it possible.  He sent His Son to die for you.  He wants you to have a father-child relationship to Him.  This is so important because if you don’t understand it, your foundation is off for everything else in your life. 

Maybe you grew up with a parent who was unreasonable, or you had a parent who was unconcerned or unreliable, or unpleasable.  Or, maybe you grew up with a parent who hurt you.  I want to say to you, I’m sorry.  I’m sorry that you hurt, but you have a Heavenly Father who will never hurt you, never ever hurt you.  He wants to be that father that maybe you never had; He is a compassionate Father.  Everything He does towards you, He does because He loves you.  Even when He says no, it’s because He loves you; He’s motivated with compassion.  He wants to be a consistent Father.  He is a consistent Father.  He’ll never lie to you; He’ll never abuse you or use you.  He always keeps His promises, He always does what’s best for you.  He is a Father that is close and is caring and when you fall off the jungle gym of life, and you can’t put on the shoes of life, He’s there to help you out and it’s no big deal to Him; it’s no bother.  But, He does it because He loves you and He’s a gracious Father.  And, no matter who you are or what you’ve done, He will forgive you and accept you and love you like you’ve never been loved by anyone.

Now, is God everybody’s Father?  Is everybody a child of God?  Well, yes and no.  When you talk about, “Did God create everybody?”  Yes, He created everybody.  But, does He have a relationship with everybody?  No, He does not.  Would you agree that there is more to being a father than just creating a kid?  Oh yes, there’s a lot more to being a father than just fathering a child.  And, while God is the Creator of everybody in this room, He’s not everybody’s Father right now, only unless you’ve said, “God, I want to be a part of your family” ‑‑ that’s a choice.  Jesus said, “No one comes to the Father, except through me.”  You need to say “I want Jesus Christ to come into my life and I want to develop a relationship with God, the Father.” 

Let’s close in prayer.  Why don’t you say this:

Dear God, I want you to be my Father and I want to be a part of your family and I want to learn to depend on you the way a child depends on a father.  Thank you that you are compassionate; that everything you do towards me is out of love.  That even when you suggest and demand limitations, it’s for my own protection.  Thank you that you’re a consistent Father; that you always do what’s best for me, that you always keep your promises, that you never change your mind about me, that you’re not fickle, that you’re consistent in your love.  Thank you that you’re caring and that you’re close and you’re here to help, you’re not distant and aloof, but you’re intimately interested in every detail of my life.  And, thank you that you’re gracious.  That you forgive and accept me when I blow it.  Thank you for sending Jesus to make up the difference between me and perfection and I do trust in your Son.  In your name I pray.  Amen